As a newlywed, I loved to vacuum. There wasn't much to clean. We had one hand-me-down blue velour couch and matching lazy boys, with stains of mysterious origin. Our small TV was sitting on top of the crates that I used in college to hold my text books, and a small wooden table that his brother used for taxidermy. And despite how often I cleaned it, I could still smell duck blood.
We start dating with the best intentions, taking care to be our best selves. Then we get comfortable and complacent. You can blame your partner or you can commit to making sure you keep working to earn that long-term affection. Here are 10 ways to put your best foot forward in your relationship—and to keep moving.
There's a paper anniversary, a crystal anniversary, and even a tin anniversary. But there's no cable TV anniversary. In the upcoming movie Hope Springs, Kay Soames (Meryl Streep) realizes that intimacy and romance have long left her marriage when she and her husband Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) celebrate 31 years together by getting a new cable subscription. Kay stops tuning out her unmet needs and asks Arnold to attend intensive couples counseling. But is this decision more than 300 TV channels too late?
When President Obama publicly announced his support of gay marriage on May 9, there seemed to be little question: Obama has the gay vote locked down. Though, of course, not all gays care about gay marriage, nor will all gays be voting Democrat come November. Yes, gay Republicans do exist. Even in the blue states.
More couples than ever are eschewing the tradition of getting married by a member of the clergy, instead choosing to be wed by a friend or relative.
One afternoon, I glared at him across the living room, livid that he had committed an intolerable transgression. I don't remember the details, but he probably folded an afghan incorrectly. I wanted to yell with every fiber of my being. But I stopped for a moment to consider. I could hurl insults at him, he'd take it and we'd move on. But would he put up with my temper indefinitely? And should he have to? Was this how I wanted to communicate with my life partner?
Listen to YourTango Founder & CEO Andrea Miller and best-selling author & YourTango Expert Arielle Ford discuss Arielle's latest book Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art
When you’re in a serious relationship, there’s a whole other element to consider when trying making a lifestyle change. These are choices that will affect your partner. Will your husband stubbornly stock the pantry with two packs of cookies for every bag of apples you buy? Will your efforts at bettering yourself cause tension in your relationship, as you suggest turning off the football game in order to talk more? Or will your partner be your biggest cheerleader, setting the alarm to hit the gym with you before work?
This is one of the reasons you got married — so you can spend the holidays with your husband or wife. Whether it's your first season together or your 30th, you never get tired of the look on your significant other's face when they open the perfect gift you hand-selected for them.
Remember when Bryan Mackenzie bought Annie Banks a blender in Father of the Bride? Take that as a lesson in what not to do when it comes to fiance holiday gift giving.
The holidays are coming up, so of course you're looking for that perfect gift for your boyfriend or girlfriend. You've been dating for awhile now, so you want to put some extra effort into showing them you care (and that you know what they like!)
While playing muddy games of soccer and teasing the girls about their crushes on the men from our team, I observed Dave from afar. At home, I often tease him for his fondness for watching re-runs of “Hogan’s Heroes” in his underwear and needle him about doing the dishes, but in El Salvador I saw Dave in a new light. He impressed the group leaders by being one of the hardest workers on the team. And even when the drilling hit a snag and forced the men to work until one in the morning, he remained calm and patient. While other members of our team talked longingly of hamburgers, Dave gratefully cleaned his plate of new foods like fried plantains and food I knew he hated—black beans.
Part of the reason Wendi Deng Murdoch's "slap heard round the world" made such an impact was that it seemed to suggest "I love my husband," rather than "I love my husband's money"—the latter being the assumption most people would make about any marriage with a 38-year age gap, especially when the older person is wealthy and powerful. In China, the reaction to that slap was no less surprised, but unlike in the West, this was not the first time the Chinese masses found reason to praise Wendi Deng's marriage to Murdoch and his business empire. The first came when she married Murdoch in the first place. It's good to be reminded that all the things we take for granted about how relationships should be approached, about what we should expect from men and love and marriage, about age differences and levels of attraction—as in the case of Wendi and Rupert Murdoch—are mere accidents of life and experience and culture. This is what I learned as a Westerner living and dating in Beijing, at least.
Kate Hudson, who just gave birth to a son with her musician fiancé Matt Bellamy, is in no rush to head down the aisle, saying her previous divorce showed her that marriage is "not the golden ticket." Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have been together nearly 15 years and have two kids together—but have never tied the knot. Then there's KISS frontman Gene Simmons and his partner of 28 years who have a reality show on VH1, Happily Unmarried dedicated to following their (somewhat) happily unmarried life together. So why are so many young men and women delaying marriage—or even taking it off the table altogether?
I not only wrote my wedding vows … I wrote the entire ceremony. I'm picky like that. Caught up in context and connotation and wanting a spiritual but not-necessarily-religious vibe, what got said that warm spring day mattered to me. I'm not alone here. Though there's no real statistics as to how many people write their own vows, anecdotal evidence shows that more couples are customizing their weddings than ever before.