When I first started online dating after my divorce at age 39, I was terrified. Not because I hadn't been on a date in almost two decades. Not because I hadn't so much as brushed up against a man in over a year, let alone been intimate with one. And not because I was worried about inadvertently hooking up with a serial killer. What I was terrified of was that people I knew would see my online profile and think I was a desperate loser.
First dates are a little dicey. Doubly so when it's a blind date. Make it a double date on top of it and you're talking about four times the dicey-ness. And, as far as dicey goes, it goes off the charts when it turns out that you know your friend's date. Know him very well.
It was a classic set-up, my friend's boyfriend's friend needed a date. The two guys showed up and were already a little boozy. My friend and her boyfriend sneaked off and I was left with a drunk fella. And then his vomiting. I decided not to move to the second phase of the date and somehow I was the bad guy...
With the holiday season upon us, you obviously want to get your girlfriend or boyfriend something to show them you care, but you've only been dating for a few months.
In 2005, I briefly worked as a real estate agent in New York City, renting downtown luxury apartments to European pioneers, entitled college grads from Long Island, and investment bankers with trophy wives. The job, which I took merely as a means to support myself while pursuing more "noble" efforts as a rock musician, was truly f'ing miserable.
Sometimes the seemingly perfect guy is up to no good. It starts with house parties, long phone calls and fancy dinners, but then it ends with a stolen iPod. No one said dating in Amman, Jordan was easy.
A first-time user of PlentyOfFish.com has a rough start of it. After drinking many, many beers, a first date becomes weirdly jealous, starts crying and refuses to leave her house. First dates and online dating rarely go this wrong.
Recently I went out with a friend of a friend. He was English. I mean, how bad could he be? But that was before he showed up, late and unshowered, and moved our date from a 5-star restaurant to a coffee shop. After making suggestive comments about my chest, he popped his feet into my lap and said to tickle away. Yes, these are the men I date.
When I was living in NYC in early 2009 I met this cop from Queens at a jazz bar I used to sing in. I wasn't so sure if there was much of an attraction physically speaking but I was diggin' the whole cop thing. But a boring dinner gave way to some extreme pushiness, disparaging comments about my neighborhood and insults to my neighbor.
For weeks, I'd been planning to dress as Smurfette. I couldn't admit to myself I only chose the costume because my ex-fling once mentioned it'd be cute. One of my summer dresses reminded him of the impish blue character. I never realistically thought he would come back to me. I wasn't even sure I wanted him to, but I did want him to regret his decision.
The thought, "Oh God, he has to hate me," is never a good sign during a first date. But when you're two hours late and he hasn't responded to your last text, it's not possible to think of anything else. A set of circumstances conspired to make me late to a date and when I got there, my date had been drinking heavily, very heavily. What happens when chronic lateness and too much booze get in the way of really good thing.
Ladies, I'd like to—need to, rather—introduce you to 100RedFlags.com, a new blog that's slowly spewing out ludicrous and crass reasons for why men shouldn't date us. As if you didn't feel enough pressure coming at you from all angles to look, act and feel like the "ideal" woman that guys are looking for today, there's now someone telling the world that what you do with your food before you eat it will have an irreversibly negative impact on your dating life.
When my friends reminisce about childhood days spent getting sent to the principal's office, or instigating playground drama, or going on awkward middle school dates to even-more-awkward middle school dances, I have nothing to share. I was home-schooled. Taking notes from Professor Mom, I learned more than the usual reading, writing and arithmetic. I memorized lessons in life and love. Lessons that directly influenced the way I approached dating.
There's no holiday more American than the Fourth of July, a day that casts men in their most traditional role: the take-charge, fire-mastering, crowd-pleasing leader. Is there anything more American than a man with a mission? Indeed the dynamics of Independence Day can shed a lot of light on your relationship and explain just what it is that makes your American man so... American.
There are people in the world who don't care about love. They don't even know what love is. But they do care about power, control and sex. Unfortunately, I learned about sociopaths the hard way—by marrying one. If your new romantic interest exhibits the following behaviors, be careful. One or two traits don't mean much, but if you see most or all of them, he or she might be a sociopath.