"He wasn't my type. We worked together, and he kept asking me to do things with him, in a collegial sort of way. But when my friends asked if he might be a romantic possibility, I assured them that he wasn’t my type at all. I had always been attracted to powerful older men—the kind who charm the pants off every woman they meet. You can imagine how well this worked out for me." He just wasn't her type; but she married him anyway. Upon their first meeting, Leslie Bennetts was convinced that her husband of 18 years was totally wrong for her. Years later, she marvels at how little she knew back then. Turns out, he was the one.
A single woman reflects on how her life when all her friends got engaged and married. "When, within six months, four members of my book club got engaged, I was confused. I mean, I knew what to say. Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! But all I could think was: I thought we had a deal. It wasn't that I objected to the journey, but I hadn't packed yet. I am 25. I travel light. Were we really doing this? We were. Gift bags. Registry. Hospitality suite. Groom's cake. Morning jacket. Just like that, Book Club became Marriage Club. I didn't think it bothered me. I'd been in love with love since my sister and I designed Barbie and Ken's perfect date."
Too little money certainly stresses a relationship‚Äîbut too much money can be just as bad. Abby Ellin discusses why it‚Äôs hard to keep your balance on uneven financial turf.
My friends and I seem to take dating a lot more seriously than our mothers did. Perhaps too seriously. We obsess about every interaction, overanalyze each conversation. As much as we crave relationships, they also scare the everloving crap out of us because we have all seen what can happen when a woman makes the wrong choice… I think it's vital to spend a long time getting to know someone before you commit to a life with him. But the constant analysis doesn't leave a girl with much hope of walking into a room one day and being love-struck, the way my mother was. Or so I always thought.
See what a year of online dating does to one author. In the first few months, I went on seven first dates that went nowhere fast. I received four "winks." I ignored six men. Four men ignored me. Then, as winter gave way to a glorious spring, I experienced my first sustained epistolary romance. I received a lovely note from a fellow writer. Within nine days we had exchanged 57 emails...
Dating can be tough. Dave Singleton, author of Behind Every Great Woman There’s a Fabulous Gay Man:Advice from a Guy Who Gives It to You Straight, suggests first date locales that help both of you feel comfortable and where you might even (gasp!) have a bit of fun.
Google is good for finding many things. But when it comes to finding The One, no one gets to click a mouse and discover a New Yorker-reading, pastry-baking, compliment-smothering husband. It’s simply no match for the oldest search of all.
Bad boys are the eternal temptation. They've been besting the likes of feisty heroines for centuries: Shakespeare's Helena, Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennett, Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara, Gossip Girl’s Blair Woodward. But do bad boys really make us feel so good? Or are we setting ourselves up for failure?
Looking for love can be about as much fun as having your teeth cleaned. Forget about the mundane dinner and movie. Kristine Kern, self-described as "one of the dating masses" talks to Dave Singleton, author of Behind Every Great Woman There’s a Fabulous Gay Man: Advice from a Guy Who Gives It to You Straight and The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating. Together they came up with a few refreshing first date ideas that can help you get a better idea of your prospective partner. Also included: bad first date ideas.
Which romantic comedy does your life resemble? When Harry Met Sally or Pretty in Pink? The movies you watch may be sabotaging your love life. J. Courtney Sullivan warns against waiting for Lloyd Dobler and pulls the rug out from under seven movie-myth scenarios.
For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: pregnancy and dating. Question: Entering my forties as an unattached woman, I decided to try to have a baby on my own. Weeks after starting an artificial insemination program, I've met a really great guy. When do I tell him about the A.I.? Odds aren't great that I'll actually get pregnant, and it could end up freaking him out for no reason. —O.S., San Francisco, Calif.
How to flirt the right way, whether you're using classic pick-up lines or simple body language, from the author of Read My Hips: The Sexy Art Of Flirtation by Eve Marx. "What tips would you give to someone who is just starting to flirt, or wants to become a better flirt? She has to determine what her flirt style is going to be. It should initially gel with her own personality: Is she shy? Is she a comedian? Is she an interrogator type? There's also a flirt I call the refusal flirt—a lot of guys are very curious about the girl that won't flirt. If you're a flirt expert, then you're versatile in many styles. But if you've only got one good thing, then stick with that. Is there a key move that works across styles? Put your hand on his arm. Touch a guy. If you are making a connection, electricity happens. You also find out really fast if he's interested in you. You shouldn't be flirting up the wrong tree; it's a waste of your energy.
"The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You—in 30 Days or Less!" It sound like a dream come true. Is it possible to date without playing games? The book claims it's easy to read a man's intentions and see if he's that into you or not.
As a successful black woman in corporate America I had a very hard time finding black men who understood and weren't intimidated by my busy lifestyle, weren't already dating or married to white women and who weren't gay. When I left the corporate world, and moved to black-man-friendly Brooklyn, I had a much easier time finding black men, unfortunately far too many of them were players. I'll admit though, I'd often choose a "bad boy" over a good prospective partner and have a bad experience, which then created a bad perception. That said, it seemed the odds were often stacked against me: 9 out of 10 times, the good-looking, smart, articulate, cultured black men I met were in multiple relationships, or either had a girlfriend or were married and "forgot" to tell me. In fact, had it not been for the tattoo of his wife's name on his arm, I might not have known that the last man I was out on a date with was married.