The past 25 years have left women's plates increasingly—some might argue, precariously—overloaded, as they try to keep healthy portions of career, love and family. In her upcoming new book, "In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures In Finding Love, Commitment, And Motherhood," New York City journalist Rachel Lehmann-Haupt explores the expanding buffet of choices that exist for women hoping to "have it all" today.
As a kid, my ballet teacher nicknamed me Olive Oil because I was tall and skinny with long dark hair like the cartoon. By 14, puberty had left me squeezing into 32DD bras. My instant curves disgusted me. "You are not fat; you’re Zaftik," my mother would say in Yiddish, as she inspected my 5'7" and 120-lb. frame. She meant I carried my weight well. Large busts were so common among Jewish women they'd created a word in the Old Country for exactly what I'd inherited.
Author Jamie Cat Callan grew up in America, but she has a French grandmother. After traveling between France and the U.S. time and again, Cat Callan realized that French women are, indeed, different from us when it comes to romance. But Cat Callan didn't stop at noticing—she traveled all over the country and interviewed hundreds of men and women about love and romance customs and attitudes in France. The results are catalogued in her delightful book, "French Women Don’t Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets To Finding Love." YourTango spoke with Cat Callan about dinner parties and adultery.
Dating expert Rachel Greenwald, author of Why He Didn't Call You Back, talks about dating etiquette, first date tips and how to make sure you get a second date. "To me a successful first or second date is simply an invitation to go out again. You can't really get to know who the person is deep down until you spend more time with them, so the lack of a follow-up date invitation means that someone has quickly stereotyped you."
Before you get your moral molars all empacted and whatnot, we'll make vividly clear that this list by no means endorses having an affair and ruining a perfectly good marriage (or an imperfect one, for that matter). Hear us out. Whether single or taken, flirting is fun.
In the months after divorcing my wife, my weeks were bifurcated. Half the week, I was a single father working hard to provide a stable home for my children in the midst of an unstable time. The other half I was a man on his own trying to navigate dating for the first time in my life. Prior to being married, relationships had grown organically out of friendships rather than being the result of formal dates with women I'd met online. Just as I was becoming more comfortable with my new life, I discovered that what I thought to be a hemorrhoid was actually a tumor in my rectum. Luckily there was good hope for a cure, but the treatment would be painful, last nearly a year and leave me with a permanent colostomy.
Would Andy think Jake was as perfect as I did? Perfect manners. Perfect behavior. Perfect attitude. Jake had just turned three. He was a sweet kid, affectionate and kind—but perfect manners? Who was I kidding? It wasn't as if "thank you" was exactly a recognized word in his vocabulary.
The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, "Is this Teri? If so, hit me back." It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name *Jeffery in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type, says that understanding your personality type can help you navigate the dating waters. Using genetics and neurochemistry Fisher identified four types: about Explorer, Builder, Negotiator and Director. Which are you?
People enter detoxification programs to rid their bodies of toxins, lose a little weight, maybe look and feel better about the damage they’ve done to their bodies. But how do you detoxify from poor love decisions? Is there a Promises out there for people who have had one toxic relationship after another? How do you take the damage done from too many bad relationships to enable a fresh start? One writer finds out.
Ever met someone with a propensity to date alcoholics? This man has, and he thinks some women gravitate towards these out-of-control men.
Choosing can presidential candidate is just like dating for people who are passionate about politics. Padma Atluri has been dating presidents since she was 21. She writes, "I've never really dated Obama, or Clinton (although he is my "first"), or any politician, for that matter. But the intensity I've felt towards them rivals any other bond I've shared. Because, let's face it: political courtship, especially in an election year, parallels romantic courtship. I've found myself going through the same patterns with presidential candidates as I do with the boys I like. Below, the nine benchmarks of dating men and presidential candidates. "
First-date sex: One guy says go for it, even if it ends up being a one-night stand. Wise advice? Hard to say, but according to this dude, "Your prince might not call you back if you rail him in the bathroom stall or after he slinks out of your apartment while you’re sleeping. If that happens, cry and wail! Just know that reports of the fragility of the human heart are greatly exaggerated."
He spoke with terrific emotion about ex-lovers, probably to make me jealous, but I didnt’t really like him enough to mind. There was Michelle Rosenthal, Mimi Moskowski, Avivah Katz. The list continued on with clunky Jewish last name after clunky Jewish last name, lots of bergs and ovitskys, very few vowels. I could just picture him masturbating to a map of Israel every night.
Up until I was six years old, my family celebrated Christmas. In 1984, we moved to a new town in a new state and joined a synagogue. As December rolled around, there was no tree, just a menorah in the kitchen and a pile of Hanukkah presents in the corner of the living room. In high school, I began dating a Catholic boy—and like a holiday miracle, Christmas returned! I was a jolly, happy soul once more... until we broke up and I had to find a new Christian boyfriend to spend the holidays with. On the occasions that I did not have a boyfriend during "the season," I was the sad orphan Jew.