Everyone knows about the commitment-phobic guy, but what's really not talked about is the woman who shies away from a true connection. Not long ago, "Marin" asked me how to handle her avoidance of relationships. Witnessing her parents' divorce and experiencing the resulting trauma in the family, she'd made a conscious decision to make sure she never found herself trapped in a bad relationship. Like so many in her shoes, she was confusing the issues, and making choices based on the wrong criteria.
The Question I promised to focus on this week is: How can I avoid getting into an unhealthy relationship? I have to giggle at that one as I am writing today. I don't know about you but in my experience many of us were BORN into unhealthy relationships! That said I know that for the most part as adults, we get to choose the relationships we want to engage in. When it comes to romantic relationships we have 100% control. It is that type of relationship I am going to address today.
"My wife is so upset that I have to travel more on my new job," Chuck told me in our phone counseling session. "She feels so alone and lost when I'm gone. When I talk with her she is either crying or angry. I feel so badly and guilty but I don't know what to do." "Do you feel responsibility for her feelings?" I asked him. "Do you feel that you are the cause of her feelings?" "Yes."
Are you in a serious, monogamous relationship with a man and longing to get him to commit to you? Do feel ready to get engaged or married and yet you're still waiting for him to make a move to commit to your future together? If you've been with a man you love in an exclusive relationship for over a year, you're in the perfect position to help him make decision to commit to you. However, many men have conscious and subconscious fears that make them feel ambivalent about committing to any woman.
A miracle is simply a shift in perception from thoughts of fear to thoughts of love. Many of us lose track of this simplicity because we fell for fear instead. When our thoughts are focused on fear, we block miracles. Fear becomes the norm and we deny the potential for peace and love.
The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines “abandon” as: “to leave somebody or something behind for others to look after, especially somebody or something meant to be a personal responsibility.” As adults, our own wellbeing is our personal responsibility. Do you abandon yourself, making others responsible for you, and then feel abandoned by others when they leave you or don’t take responsibility for you?
This is the second article in the series of five examining the emotions. In the first article it was discussed when sadness is repressed in turns into chronic depression. Any chronic condition is unnatural. We need to look at our first feelings. The core emotions of grief/sadness, anger, love, envy, and fear are being examined in this series. These are the natural emotions and are uncomplicated in their purity. I am not suggesting they are comfortable, I am suggesting they are uncomplicated in their truths. Anger is, in my opinion, the most misunderstood of all of the five emotions.
Have you ever felt "magic" with a man? That connection and chemistry is almost impossible to describe to someone who doesn't have it, but it's even more impossible to ignore when you've got it. Well, believe it or not, there's other magic waiting for you beyond connections or chemistry when it comes to men, dating and relationships.
It's natural, it's human and a little bit of it can help us stay on top of important details. But most people spend more than just a little time being concerned about the what if's. And just because it's natural doesn't mean it is giving you the best experience of life.
I’ve been experiencing a lot of resistance lately, and have come up with a couple of solutions with a little help from my guides. One of the things they said was reassuring in a strange sort of way. They explained to one of my clients, and I knew the message was not just for her, that fear and resistance will never fully disappear. They get smaller, less frequent and easier to dispel the more we connect with our true essence, but they are an integral part of the human experience.
One of biggest differences I see between people who have created happy relationships and those who haven’t is the act of keeping score. If you’re keeping score you may come out on top of your partner, but the relationship will come out on the bottom. In other words, if you’re playing to win in your relationship, you’ve already lost.
Hearing the phone ring in the locked house, Mary fumbled with her keys while balancing three bags of groceries. Silently she whispered “please let it be Steve”. Breathless and happy she heard his voice, “I’m calling to ask you to accompany me to my office party at the Ritz for dinner and dancing next Saturday?” Without hesitation she said, “I would love to.” Setting the phone back in the cradle her smile was soon replaced by horror.
Rejection and criticism arise because of one word: fear. When we are in a state of fear in a relationship, the twin towers of negativity—rejection and criticism—become an embodied part of the couple.
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING OUT OF A REALLY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WHERE I PRACTICALLY WORSHIPPED THE MAN AND WAS BASICALLY AT HIS BECK AND CALL. HE WALKED AWAY FROM HIS 2ND WIFE AND 3 CHILDREN AND HE IS REFUSING TO MOVE ON AND WANTS ME TO WAIT UNTIL HE CAN OVERCOME HIS GRIEF ABOUT THIS. AND, HONESTLY I DON'T THINK HE IS EVER GOING TO MOVE ON AND I AM WASTING MY TIME BY WAITING FOR HIM. HE SAYS THAT HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY BUT HOW CAN HE WHEN POINT BLANK...HE IS ALL SCREWED IN HIS HEAD. AND, I THINK HE IS REALLY MY FIRST LOVE BUT I CANNOT SAVE HIM A
Dear Dr. Brit and Catherine, Can you die from a broken heart? "Ava" (not her real name) Dear “Ava”, Thank you for your note. That’s a very good question. The short answer is “yes”. You can indeed die from a broken heart. During a difficult breakup, the sudden death of a loved one or any other heartbreaking event, negative emotions take over our bodies.