When Fear Directs My Dreams.
Experts Blog

When Fear Directs My Dreams.

I had a familiar dream recently.  It was near the end of the semester in my dream and I had not attended many of my calculus classes.  I knew I would fail and I was desperately searching for a way out of this mess.  As I woke from my dream, I realized that I had nothing to fear from calculus.  I had graduated in spite of it and would never have to pass calculus again.  But it got me to thinking, "What triggered that dream?"  My friend confessed to having similar dreams, along with the ever popular

financial independence
Money problems on the brain?
Experts Blog

5 Ways To Be Financially Independent

In this recession, it's no wonder that financial insecurity makes it hard for us to sleep well at night. So here are five tips for you to take charge of your own finances and life, without having to rely on a significant other.

Fear Of Flying Over 50
Experts Blog

Fear Of Flying Over 50

In 1973 Erica Jong wrote the controversial and generation changing, Fear of Flying.  I was 11-years-old when the book was published but managed to get my hands on it a few years later when I stole it from my mother’s book shelf.   The book was a true coming of age story for adult women taking ownership of their own sexuality and their independent, self-sufficient lives.  I read Betty Friedan’s Feminine Mystique not long after my Fear of Flying induction.    Both solidified my desire to live a life different from the one of my mother’s

HOW TO CAPITALIZE ON YOUR BAD DAY
Experts Blog

HOW TO CAPITALIZE ON YOUR BAD DAY

You know those mornings when things just aren’t right, when you may have had a bad dream but don’t remember it? You’re grumpy, you don’t want to go about your day, or you even feel full-on depressed. Maybe you’re laden with fear and anxiety.  Your actual day may not be ideal, but to have intense negative emotions – or the absence of any at all – is actually not about the present.

How To Quickly And Easily Overcome Your Fears
Experts Blog

How To Quickly And Easily Overcome Your Fears

In my work as well as in my personal life I frequently see and understand what a profound role fear plays in all of our lives.  Some might not recognize or call some of their behaviors fearful yet if we dig deep enough that’s almost always what holds us back.  It’s rarely the life threatening fear that gets in our way but rather the seemingly small stuff that holds us hostage from the greatness that we so often desire.  Here are some simple and time-tested ways to overcome your fears, and take your life in a

3 Key Ways To Reinvent Yourself
Experts Blog

3 Key Ways To Reinvent Yourself

Life is definitely a process not a destination.  During this process you will go through ups and downs, which are inevitable, yet you have the power of choice during each step in the process.  You do not have to wait until a “mid life crisis”, graduation or loss of weight to reinvent yourself.  Reinventing, is defined by most dictionaries as changing something so much that it appears entirely new and/or taking up a radical new way of life.  It is when you decide to change.  

7 Step Guide to Never Having an Experience of God
Experts Blog

7 Step Guide to Never Having an Experience of God

Are you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God? Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way? Are you actually doing everything you can to never have an experience of God, while denying that this is what you are doing? Now you can continue your spiritual disconnection on purpose, rather than doing it unconsciously! 1. Keep your mind closed to learning about yourself

Why Worry?
Experts Blog

Why Worry?

Worrying is a natural mental and emotional activity, an easy habit to fall into.  Our brains are designed (or evolved) to pay attention to danger.  When the lion or wolf attacks, we need to be prepared to run like hell, so fear prepares our bodies to do so by releasing hormones that direct the blood flow to the running muscles and change our breathing for the emergency state. 

How You Can Make  A Difference For The Mentally Ill [EXPERT}
Experts Blog

How You Can Make A Difference For The Mentally Ill [EXPERT}

My heart goes out to the victims and families of those who died during this most recent senseless tragedy at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Being a parent and  professional counselor myself, I felt a guttural pain imagining how I would feel if my child had been shot. My grief can only be a miniscule fraction of what the parents whose children were shot are feeling. My hope is that we respond to all of the victims with compassion and caring

ToveTalks: Step-By-Step Guide To Loving Yourself
Experts Blog

ToveTalks: Step-By-Step Guide To Loving Yourself

1. Start 2. Listen 3. Interrupt 4. Redirect 5. Recognize 6. Repeat as needed 1. Start a. Decide you are going to work on what it means to love yourself. It sounds so corny and unattainable, but little by little it is completely possible, and enriches your life and the lives of others. Like Marianne Williamson said “Our deepest fear is not that we

Why Breaking Down At The Store Is Good For Your Career
Experts Blog

Why Breaking Down At The Store Is Good For Your Career

This weekend I spoke at an amazing women's leadership retreat in central California.  I have been here for two weeks, I met strong and lovely women, and I felt welcomed and at peace. I drove home, parked, and then headed off to the grocery store.  And while I was standing in the aisle looking for yogurt, I began to get emotional.  I picked up some cheese, started to get teary-eyed, and put it down and headed off towards the alcohol section where I felt like tears would be more acceptable.

11 Ways To Avoid Wrecking Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Are you wrecking your relationship?
Experts Blog

11 Ways To Avoid Wrecking Your Relationship

When we look at the divorce rate, the number of relationships that fall apart before people get married and people who stay together even though they are miserable, we might conclude that people go out of their way to wreck their relationships.