Three years ago, my wife and I fled what we had hoped would be the idealistic suburban life. The idyll, however, was far from what we had hoped for. Now, I'm on nine months of paid parental leave with our 15-month-old son. I wouldn't call our arrangement a role reversal, exactly. Rather, we're co-parenting.
When you're the stay-at-home mother of an infant, you spend almost no time alone, and thinking goes out the window, unless you count anxious fretting over when to start solid foods and how to persuade the baby to go down for a nap. It's unclear to me now why I imagined this wouldn't be a difficult adjustment.
The first thing you need to know is that Dan asked me to marry him while we were brushing our teeth. We had been together for almost 10 years at that point, living together for five, and we had plenty of people despairing as to whether we would ever get around to tying the knot. We finally settled matters after flossing. Big romantic gestures? Not our thing. We like to lie around eating ice cream straight from the container and watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia reruns. But then we jumped into planning mode for the wedding, a day that's supposed to be nothing but romantic moments and symbolic traditions. And even two cynics like ourselves couldn't help getting caught up in all the excitement. But when it came to walking being a bride and walking down the aisle, did I want my father to give me away?
My romantic relationships have all followed this same pattern: I am "not enough" for the other person's love. Sometimes I blindly pursue men who blatantly tell me I am not enough. One boyfriend told me I would be really hot if I was five inches taller, ten pounds lighter, had broader shoulders (what?) and was Irish. Still, I stayed with him for 18 months. By unconsciously seeking out unattainable/emotionally unavailable/married or simply not interested men, I can obsessively reenact my father/daughter dynamic in the vain hope that if I can convince said man to love and notice me, then surely my father will notice and love me too.
As the headlines are filled with news of Joe Simpson allegedly calling out John Mayer for his "sexual napalm" comments regarding daughter Jessica while Angelina Jolie is photographed reunited with her long-estranged dad Jon Voight, we've been pondering family bonds and boundaries. When it comes to talking sex with family, how close is too close? What should you share with your family and what should remain between you and your partner?
If divorce is in the future of duplicitous two-timers Gov. Mark Sanford to reality TV's Jon Gosselin, these men will have to navigate co-parenting. However, a growing trend shows that many men become better parents post-divorce, to the surprise of ex-wives who find it difficult to grasp that a man who wasn't a good husband can indeed be a good father.
Poll: Do You Love Your Baby-Daddy More Than Your Baby?: Yes No About the same.
Dr. Michelle Golland responds to "Why I Love My Kid More Than My Husband" Okay, first I must say I love my kids very much, but I do not love them more than my husband! The love I have for my husband is deeper and more exciting than the love I have for my kids. He is my lover, my confidant, and my biggest fan. I am the same for him. It is so clear to me as a wife, mother, and psychologist that if I do not have a strong, healthy, and connected marriage, my mothering abilities are not on track.
Remember the rumors about John Edwards' love child with mistress Rielle Hunter? Those reports were quashed when Edwards' former aide Andrew Young said that the baby was actually his. Well, turns out Young lied—Edwards is the actual father, according to Young, but the aide agreed to take the fall and even move in with Hunter because he so believed in John Edwards. And it gets better (or worse, depending on your perspective…): there's a John Edwards sex tape floating around somewhere!
Without referring you to the many, many, medical sites, books and journals I immediately consulted on the subject, there is some belief that a certain vein that traverses one or both testicles can, in one way or another, affect the quality of sperm production. Operating on it may, or may not, improve sperm quality. In my case, a double varocelectomy was recommended.