The novelty of open relationships and how it's become so familiar to me so quickly.
Wishbringer and Stravinsky have met face-to-face only three times. They live on separate continents. Their real names are not Heart Wishbringer and Joe Stravinsky; but Rhonda Lillie and Paul Hawkins. And like 43,000 other couples, their initial meeting and marriage both occurred in the virtual online universe of Second Life. Newsweek is suggesting that their love might be more genuine than the kind that starts out face-to-face. We're not so sure.
Should our sexual fantasies be morally and politically correct? Excerpted from Best Sex Writing 2009, erotica writer Kristina Lloyd explores her taste for pleasure with a side of discomfort and the judgment that writing graphic sex scenes draws. An intriguing reflection on fantasies and how they define us.
The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, "Is this Teri? If so, hit me back." It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name *Jeffery in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us.
Phone sex is popular for a myriad of reasons. Number one, it's safe. You literally talk your way to a place where you want to touch yourself. No protection needed. Phone sex can also be intensely intimate, and it can bring you and your partner together, even if you happen to be on separate coasts or in different countries.
The Details article, "Flirting With Disaster" about men who find out their threesome-loving ladies are lesbians outlines what may happen if a couple decides to experiment. Amity Pierce Buxton, founder of the Straight Spouse Network, which sponsors support groups for spouses and partners who have or had LGBT husbands and wives, estimates that three out of ten claims are men. The article tells the stories of men who's lesbian fascinations backfire when they try to incorporate it into their own relationships.
Laura Corn, seduction expert extraordinaire and New York Times bestselling author, offers 52 orchestrated sex-narios in her new book, Passport to Pleasure. The book brings bedroom traditions from around the globe together for a mere $30—slightly less than what a 'round the world trip costs these days. Corn's collection of seductions lets you play out a Belgian panty hose fantasy without having to worry about getting hotel bed bugs. Celebrate Carnaval Brazil-style with your man, plenty of lube and, if all goes as planned, multiple orgasms in honor of Esperantina, Brazil, where a councilman proposed Orgasm Day be instituted.
Why do men never seem to listen and always want to control the remote? One man sheds light on some of the most prevalent male stereotypes and explains that while they may not be fair, sometimes they hold a kernel of truth: "For me, having control of the remote combines two impressive skills; knowledge of TV programming and quick, hand-eye coordination in the form of button pushing. Wondering if Ace of Cakes reruns are on at 8:30? I can tell you yes, they are."
Before fantasy-loving readers get huffy, don't worry, the site was created with good-natured ribbing in mind. While some of the forum topics address the serious relationship cracks that a fantasy-sport obsession could only widen, many times the issues are addressed with humor; the point being that having a man around who also happens to regularly check game scores on his phone is better than not having him there at all.
I hear "romance novel" and a few things spring immediately to mind: Fabio, bad prose and women sitting in La-Z-Boys, smoking Virginia Slims in their housecoats. I'm not talking about soapy chick lit or emotional love tales, like those that Nicholas Sparks writes. I'm talking about the kind that use verbs like throbbing and aching and feature topless hunks on the cover. While the book business continues to falter, romance novels continue to sell. In fact, a 2004 market analysis showed that the romance genre accounted for 40 percent of all books sold that year. With this in mind, I decided it's time to stop judging these books by their covers and take a peek inside.
"I'm a female college student and a feminist. I expect equal pay, equal treatment, and fairness when it comes to chores at home. But I have fantasies of domestic discipline. Some days, I'd like to rush home and clean the apartment and make dinner for my boyfriend wearing only an apron. Then I'd appreciate it if he'd find some excuse--something I did wrong--to spank me until I cry before having wild sex with me." Girlfriend harbors some serious 1950s housewife "Betty Crocker" fantasies, but realizes she doesn't want her relationship to be all Betty Crocker, all the time. The cooking/cleaning/apron-wearing/spanking is a heightened form of foreplay for her, but it looks so much like reality (rather, some people's reality) that she's fearful her guy is going to blend the fantasy into real life
When our first romp in bed introduced me to the world of dirty talk, my brain refused to process it. This, I thought, is why adult films are always better on mute. I decided my best move was to ignore him. I was unaccustomed to between-the-sheets dialogue—or monologues for that matter. He may as well have been speaking in tongues. It was too hard trying to figure out what he meant by the things coming out of his mouth; things you only heard in porn movies; things you heard uttered by your drunk college roommate when she dragged home her night's conquest and you had to lie there, pillow over your head, pretending to be asleep, all the while judging, silently judging: "Ew! Who says that stuff?" The funny thing is, it now excites me as well. While talking dirty can be a great way to share our fantasies, sometimes, his idea of sexy is definitely not mine, and I wish there were things he could take back. What sounds hot in the moment can turn cringe-worthy in retrospect.