My mother once told me that, according to the Catholic faith, in God’s eyes a man who imagined having sex with a woman who wasn’t his wife was as guilty of adultery as the man who actually had sex with another woman. Now that I’m older, I realize that means we’re all going to hell for adultery, so we might as well have some fun along the way.
What do you do when your man doesn't know how to treat you the way you want to be treated in bed? In this week's Savage Love, a young woman writes to Dan Savage about her desire for rough sex and her new boyfriend's seeming inability to give it to her. In order to remedy the situation, the woman has hatched a scheme: have a threesome with her new boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend, so that the new boyfriend can learn the basics of bondage, rape fantasies, etc. The new boyfriend, she tells Dan, is totally on board with the plan. Nonetheless, she can't help but wonder: "Am I being a selfish bitch?" and "Is it a bad sign that he's not satisfying me sexually after three months?"
Sexual fantasies are something we rarely discuss, even among good friends. Our deepest sexual thoughts are often considered too weird, perverse, or just plain wrong to be shared amongst polite company; fantasizing might indicate there is something wrong with our relationships, or worse, ourselves. But research indicates that having sexual fantasies is an absolutely normal, if not necessary, part of being a sexual being. It's not having them that is aberrant.
Fred and Danielle have decided to spice-up their relationship by incorporating some of their fantasies into their sex life. Danielle will dress up in one of Fred's fantasies and Fred will do the same for Danielle. However, Danielle may not be prepared for what Fred has in mind.
Wishbringer and Stravinsky have met face-to-face only three times. They live on separate continents. Their real names are not Heart Wishbringer and Joe Stravinsky; but Rhonda Lillie and Paul Hawkins. And like 43,000 other couples, their initial meeting and marriage both occurred in the virtual online universe of Second Life. Newsweek is suggesting that their love might be more genuine than the kind that starts out face-to-face. We're not so sure.
Should our sexual fantasies be morally and politically correct? Excerpted from Best Sex Writing 2009, erotica writer Kristina Lloyd explores her taste for pleasure with a side of discomfort and the judgment that writing graphic sex scenes draws. An intriguing reflection on fantasies and how they define us.
The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, "Is this Teri? If so, hit me back." It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name *Jeffery in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us.
Phone sex is popular for a myriad of reasons. Number one, it's safe. You literally talk your way to a place where you want to touch yourself. No protection needed. Phone sex can also be intensely intimate, and it can bring you and your partner together, even if you happen to be on separate coasts or in different countries.