My phone rang one afternoon at 3:45 pm, and on the other end was silence. I said “Hello,” but there was no answer. I waited a moment, said “Hello” again, and finally I heard a shy, quiet male voice asking if I liked men who wore stockings. Well, truthfully, I never really thought about men in stockings, or panties, high heels, or anything. I just never really thought about cross-dressers. I was all of the sudden very curious and very interested in learning about this “new” fetish.
How often would you say you think about sex? For me, depending on what's going on in my day, it can range anywhere from five to 10 times. Okay, on really slow days, maybe 15 tops. I think. Sometimes it's more... It turns out that, despite common stereotypes, men don't think about sex all the time — just a lot.
Body language reveals our true feelings, and your relationship partner has no trouble with picking up on this physical queue. But what does your body language say while you are sleep? Are there sleeping positions that will excite the man of your dreams? In sleep, we are our most honest, vulnerable selves and certain sleep positions can immediately evoke sensual thoughts and pleasures.
I remember vividly, one rainy, lonely Friday night, several years ago. It seemed the relationship with my real-life boyfriend was on the fast-track to destruction, for many reasons. When I was working and on the phone with callers, I was all fun; meanwhile, our relationship at home felt empty and devoid of any connection. I started to realize that we had no fantasies, no passion, and being together just wasn’t fun anymore.
Most men enjoy strippers. Even the ones who do not actively visit strip clubs like the idea of a sexy woman dancing naked for them. Throw in the fact that men are visual animals with a genetic predisposition to breed with as many women as possible in order to successfully spread their genetic seeds. You can see the appeal on a purely instinctual level.
A friend asked me recently about his attraction to a woman he knows is in a committed relationship. He thought it wouldn't hurt him to fantasize about her since he doesn't have any other prospects. He also admits he doesn't feel so good about himself since he is (like the rest of us) getting older and feeling like he might not be attractive to women. And he thinks that the women he finds attractive wouldn't be interested in him. So I wrote him a few thoughts which I thought I'd share here for others:
We all have a list of attractive celebs with whom we'd love to hit the sheets. These lists illustrate perfection in our eyes, the ones who, if we could have tailor-made mates, we would create to fulfill our wildest desires. But, that is not how the real world works. We like to fantasize about famous men falling for us regular women just as we are, but we know they won't. The celebrity male, such as Matt Damon or Kenny Chesney, who falls for one of the normal girls is rare, and even then, we question the likelihood of such a relationship lasting. I admit that, much as I would love to have a shot at my Hollywood dream men, they are not available for me. I have to be more realistic, even in my fantasies.
Feeling sex shy? Discover how easy it can be to share your most private desires with your mate.
In a culture where polyamory is part of the national vocabulary, sex parties are no longer shocking, and Rihanna is singing about S&M on the radio airwaves, it would seem that kink has finally gone mainstream. Still, there are some things that are still taboo… at least until you peek into women's panties.
What do you fantasize about? Some of us fantasize about past sexual experiences, those extra hot encounters that go beyond our wildest expectations and fuel desire for more. Other fantasies are about what we would like to experience - a particular person, a celebrity, or a kind of sex that we desire and long for. Fantasy can run the gamut from simple pleasures to elaborate scenarios, can be mild or wild, based on experiences we want to have or those we would never even consider enacting.
"She was cute and he thought about our 'night off' talk, and he made a date to have coffee with her a couple days later. They had coffee. Oh boy, did they have coffee. After coffee they went back to her pad and 'talked' a little bit—a casual conversation which led to casual kissing which led to casual sex... And that, David told me, head in hands, was it. His one night off. Now he felt bad. Really bad."
What is it about the sight of your man ogling T & A spread naked in a magazine that makes you crazy? Why is it your boyfriend drooling over an air-brushed centerfold shatters your self esteem? You're going along quite nicely in your relationship, until you discover his stash of porn magazines. You throw them away – and he's fine with it. Only 2 months later, you catch him hungrily watching a porn movie in the middle of the afternoon. Suddenly, you're finding porn magazines everywhere. You're devastated. He promises to stop – he loves you and says sex with you is terrific - but somehow the porn keeps cropping up. What do you do? 1) Quit taking it personally. For a lot of guys, sex is a very big deal. Not just sex with a person – but sex – as a drive, as a preoccupation. Porn is a way of dealing with sex, not a substitute for making love with you (unless your love life is in trouble, but that's another story). 2) Make a choice. You have 3 to choose from:
I t’s not just men who have wet dreams—women have sex dreams too. Some dreams get so hot and heavy women can achieve orgasm; hopefully she remembers when she wakes up… Your ex is apart of your life and it’s natural for you to remember and reflect on any good sex you might have once had.
Men I met in real life had no chance compared to the projected perfection of my internet lover. It was so much easier to talk to him behind the screen of the computer, which led me to believe it was so much easier to talk to him period. I had spent my life searching for my prince charming, and I was sure I had found him. On January 31, Patrick said we should meet. I agreed. A romance blossoms on Twitter, but can it survive the shift into real life?
Calling all Joan Holloway fans: April 21 is Administrative Professional's Day (aka Secretary's Day), so why not celebrate it with a bit of fantasy? While most of us will probably never have an affair with our silver-haired boss, with a little imagination we can all be sexy secretaries.