The popularity of "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has opened up a number of issues regarding BDSM, feminism and sexual power dynamics. More than the book's reach, the conversations have begun about exactly how many people are into this kind of sex and why they enjoy it. We're a strange animal.
Over the years, people have been very curious about the various fantasies and role plays that come up through the phone sex calls we receive. People always ask, “What’s the craziest thing you have ever heard?” I saved a real email request from a client about his fantasy, and I’ll let you read some of it, as it will give you some insight as to how unique people’s fantasies really are:
Flipping through YourTango on this fine Friday morning, I came upon a great article from a fellow YT expert about 7 things you can learn from strippers. It was written from a guy's point of view, and it absolutely paralleled my own personal experience as a stripper. Some of the YT readers didn't really appreciate the article's point of view, but I'd like to defend it.
by Julie Robinson They may not be the words every girl wishes to hear in her lifetime, but “I want you to be my bad girl” rings like bells in my ears the morning Devin texts that delightful little proposal to me. Being exclusively bad with a man has been my secret little fantasy. If I was going to give it all to my man why would I want to behave?
The split between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has been scrutinized to death and it’s always Kim who is heavily, and unfairly criticized. The break-up happened because Kim came to her senses and realized Humphries wasn’t the catch she thought he was. Clearly, she wasn’t tricked into marriage, but she was ignoring, excusing, and reasoning away things that should have sent her packing soon after they met. Even though many saw disaster written all over Kris, Kim didn’t even suspect it, partly, perhaps, because she wanted that wedding.
No, this isn’t a diatribe about the ratio of men to women and how some women could inevitably be without an eligible guy because of the numbers game. We all know the statistics and how there is supposedly one man for every seven (or ten) women on the planet. Yet women get married every day of the week. Why not you?
During it's first week of availability, Breaking Dawn Part I sold 3.2 million DVD's and Blu-rays. For many, the anticipation of attending a Twilight premiere or purchasing the newly released DVD is likened to that of preparing for a high school prom. But teens aren't the only ones captivated. Audiences of all ages are hooked, guiltily or not, to the fanatical, addictive and utterly over-the-top love between the film's lead characters. So what is it about this solemn, inter-species affair that so appeals to the masses?
“Hello”, I said in a sweet voice. Through the phone, I hear: “Listen sweetie, my name is Dan. We must do this quickly, my wife is out with the kids and I have only a few minutes. I want to tell you something I did. I have a confession to make.” I said, “Sure, you can tell me anything,” and I knew this was going to get very interesting very quickly.
My phone rang one afternoon at 3:45 pm, and on the other end was silence. I said “Hello,” but there was no answer. I waited a moment, said “Hello” again, and finally I heard a shy, quiet male voice asking if I liked men who wore stockings. Well, truthfully, I never really thought about men in stockings, or panties, high heels, or anything. I just never really thought about cross-dressers. I was all of the sudden very curious and very interested in learning about this “new” fetish.
How often would you say you think about sex? For me, depending on what's going on in my day, it can range anywhere from five to 10 times. Okay, on really slow days, maybe 15 tops. I think. Sometimes it's more... It turns out that, despite common stereotypes, men don't think about sex all the time — just a lot.
Body language reveals our true feelings, and your relationship partner has no trouble with picking up on this physical queue. But what does your body language say while you are sleep? Are there sleeping positions that will excite the man of your dreams? In sleep, we are our most honest, vulnerable selves and certain sleep positions can immediately evoke sensual thoughts and pleasures.
I remember vividly, one rainy, lonely Friday night, several years ago. It seemed the relationship with my real-life boyfriend was on the fast-track to destruction, for many reasons. When I was working and on the phone with callers, I was all fun; meanwhile, our relationship at home felt empty and devoid of any connection. I started to realize that we had no fantasies, no passion, and being together just wasn’t fun anymore.
Most men enjoy strippers. Even the ones who do not actively visit strip clubs like the idea of a sexy woman dancing naked for them. Throw in the fact that men are visual animals with a genetic predisposition to breed with as many women as possible in order to successfully spread their genetic seeds. You can see the appeal on a purely instinctual level.
A friend asked me recently about his attraction to a woman he knows is in a committed relationship. He thought it wouldn't hurt him to fantasize about her since he doesn't have any other prospects. He also admits he doesn't feel so good about himself since he is (like the rest of us) getting older and feeling like he might not be attractive to women. And he thinks that the women he finds attractive wouldn't be interested in him. So I wrote him a few thoughts which I thought I'd share here for others:
We all have a list of attractive celebs with whom we'd love to hit the sheets. These lists illustrate perfection in our eyes, the ones who, if we could have tailor-made mates, we would create to fulfill our wildest desires. But, that is not how the real world works. We like to fantasize about famous men falling for us regular women just as we are, but we know they won't. The celebrity male, such as Matt Damon or Kenny Chesney, who falls for one of the normal girls is rare, and even then, we question the likelihood of such a relationship lasting. I admit that, much as I would love to have a shot at my Hollywood dream men, they are not available for me. I have to be more realistic, even in my fantasies.
Feeling sex shy? Discover how easy it can be to share your most private desires with your mate.