How one mother's heart was captured by her crazy kids on a family vacation
On the last night of our epic three week family vacation we all lay on our backs on a dock on Cascade Lake, Orcas Island to watch a rare meteor shower. I wish I had a picture of us – side by side in the dark - gazing across an expanse of sky trying to capture every stray streak to launch itself in our direction. Then a chorus of a gasps would ring out. OOOhhhh, aaawwweee …
Surprisingly, children understand love better than their parents.
As a mom with a 20-year career in matchmaking, I expected to teach my kids some life lessons. Instead, it's my children who constantly teach me about life and love by showing me the following characteristics.
Kids are smart. Watch your relationship improve when you really start listening...
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that ALL of their ideas are good ones. In fact, many are silly, impossible or end up setting a bad precedent. Donuts and chocolate cake for breakfast? Drawing with permanent markers while sitting on your new couch? Of course not. However, many of the things they complain about when it comes to their parents are right on the money.
Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warn
Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire.
Here are the main reasons why:
Are you thinking of making some parenting changes for 2013? Don't change these!
Last year my oldest child left for college, which happened about 24 hours after he was born. Or at least that’s how it felt to me. I can look back and think of a few things that I regret as his mom; nothing too serious, just a thing or two that I might change. I do, however, have a list of things that I refuse to regret even if some might consider me a bad mom. I plan on holding on to these same non-regrets (and maybe a few more) with my other two children.
Here they are:
Look at the other side of the coin for a more pleasurable holiday experience
Happy Holidays! I can’t believe another year is drawing to a close. It is an interesting time of year for me in particular, because my birthday and the holiday season hit all at once, and I find myself spending a lot of time in introspection during the month of December. So, in today’s post I wanted to share a realization that I had and a method to help you feel the love from your family during the holidays, especially when so many of us are dreading being around our family for more than several hours.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of stress for parents and is typically a recipe for even more.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of frustration for parents and teachers, making them question their skills and abilities, and leading to the belief that they need to escalate severity to get consequences to work. This can easily result in stronger and stronger reprimands, lectures, and even yelling, along with more and more drastic and punitive consequences. This is typically a recipe for disaster.
There is a much better way. Really understanding why time-outs don’t work is the place to begin.
Parental relationship role models are the primary source children gravitate toward as adults.
Have you heard kids say, "When I grow up, I want to marry Mom (or Dad)?" Our response is centered on the innocence and sweetness of the moment, however it should also be a wake up announcement to the truth of those words. Children will mirror their parental relationship role model when they become adults and it is a couple's responsibility to show the right way of relating in love.
Discover tips and techniques to assist your family. Wonder how to teach without wounding the spirit?
Suppose your child has left Legos all over the living room again! Can you picture the chaos? Can you feel yourself become frustrated immediately? Are your shoulders instantly stiffening just thinking about the scene and the consequences? And this was just pretend. What happens when you are right in the midst of inappropriate behavior?
Ponder What Discipline Really Means
Help children to use their intensity successfully instead of having it go awry.
There is a quiet despair among so many loving, smart, and deeply caring parents. They so desire to see their children manifest their greatness, to use their intensity well instead of having it go awry, and too often they see their best efforts to inspire respectful and responsible choices slip away to further levels of frustration.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation and return kindness.
What are you most thankful for this holiday season? Is it your relationship with your family, spouse or other significant persons? If so, have you told them how much you appreciate their support and the compassion they share? But most importantly, how have you expressed your “gratitude?” Was it in the form of words, gifts or services that reflect you heartfelt thanks?