2 Types Of Parents: Which One Are You?

By

2 Types Of Parents: Which One Are You? [EXPERT]
Conventional parenting has some stiff competition. Find out which method is best for your kids!

After the Time Magazine cover story, "Are You Mom Enough?," the age-old parenting debate gained new momentum. The topic of child rearing awakens powerful feelings and memories, and how we raise our kids touches ground within our collective conscience. Sex After Giving Birth: Women Like It More Than You Think!

On his website, Amderson Cooper poses the question, "Are you an unconventional parent?" Initially, the question confused me. What is unconventional? Is it the millions-of-years-old, affectionate, closeness-seeking child rearing? Or is it the less-than-hundred-years-old stimuli-response based non-affectionate style? And, more importantly, whose advice should we follow? To choose between these two methods, we must understand their differences and their theoretical backgrounds.

When researchers made cross-cultural comparisons with the Ainsworth "Strange Situation Test," which was the first measurement of the attachment type, they were not able to conduct the test with Bushman mothers and babies because the mothers were not willing to leave their babies alone for three minutes. It's reasonable to believe that a baby left alone in the middle of the Savannah would face certain death.

Although the observation happened in our time period, the Bushman lifestyle is quite close to our ancestors' lives. As our genetic changes are delayed compared to the environmental changes, our present genetic makeup is selected to function best in that hunter-gatherer environment. Everything that would have been bothersome then is stressful now. If a baby is left alone means certain death, we can understand why babies seek constant contact with their caregiver.

Sensitive mothers often report the reciprocal feeling; they experience the separation anxiety if they have to leave the child even in a secure place. Tribal culture and rural environments tend to follow the ancient pattern with lots of body contact and long lasting easy accessibility between mother and child. Nowadays, due to the woman's work commitment, babies have lost their possibility to stay within reach of mom. Why Having A Second Baby Is A 'Big Effing Deal' To Me

More love advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Zita Fekete

Counselor/Therapist

Counselor/Therapist

I am more than happy to help figuring out the causes of relationship problems. I am especially devoted to support you to gain clarity and teach practical-behavioral tools if you are struggling with manipulative partner.

Click here to get a FREE VIDEO SERIES about Emotional Manipulation.

Sign up for Short Affordable Online Training to Reveal and Override Emotional Manipulation.

Connect with me through my Newsletter.

Please feel free to send me an Email if you have question about my services!

Zita

zita@soundsoulcounseling.com

 

Location: Mukilteo, WA

Credentials: MA Psychologist, Budapest, ABD PhD. Ethologist, Budapest, Licensed Mental Health Counselor WA

Specialty: Emotional Manipulation, Relationship Issues

 

@FeketeZita

Sound Soul Counseling Website

Sound Soul Counseling Blog

From Strings To Wings - Training, Video, Q&A about Emotional Manipulation

Location: Mukilteo, WA
Credentials: LMHC, MA
Other Articles/News by Zita Fekete:

Three Reasons We Receive Mixed Signals and One Way To Handle Them

By

For a brief moment, I felt petrified.  From there, it turned to deep embarrassment. What? Am I crazy? Am I stupid? Did I totally misread the signs? Up to this point, we seemed to getting closer and closer and now you declare you have a fiancée? Is this a familiar scenario? No, you are not stupid or crazy! You were most likely exposed to mixed ... Read more

6 Common Forms Of Manipulation

By

What people consider manipulation might be defined differently case by case. The common outcome is making the target feel seriously uncomfortable if they don't perform the will of the "operator." The different ingredients include guilt, shame or anxiety. Manipulation has a hidden agenda against straightforward communication. It has to be ... Read more

Your Relationship's New Year's Resolution Checklist

By

Closing the old year and starting a new one based on our achievements, career, physical or financial well being, we might also tinker about the current state of our relationship. Some people know exactly what would be desirable to change; unfortunately, some only have a hazy feeling of dissatisfaction. In my opinion, the relationship is better if there is ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB