I should have said “NO” but I couldn’t. Have I been manipulated?


I should have said “NO” but I couldn’t. Have I been manipulated?
What is Emotional Manipulation? How does it work? How can I handle it?

1: "One-Upmanship Expert"

2:  Dependent In Charge

3: Constant Victim

4:  Iron Fist

5: Triangulator - or Divide and Conquer

6: Flirt

7: Projection

8: Best Defense Is Offense

9: Intentional Mis-interpretation


Self reinforcing process

Look back! At the beginning, you didn’t have to do anything to be appreciated. Now you bend backwards and you’re not good enough. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you – this is the nature of the process. The truth is that your compliance reinforces the pressurizing process simply because it works.

The manipulator applies pressure on you (remember: guilt, shame anxiety). In response, you do what s/he wants to avoid those feelings. S/he learns that this is the way how s/he can get what s/he wants. The more you comply, the harder the manipulation becomes.


Entrapped, helpless, hopeless

As the manipulator controls your feelings, and through your feelings your behavior, you feel helpless, and hopeless. All of this is disguised as goodwill, you feel entrapped. No wonder.

However: if you realize what’s going on around you… if you are able to separate the superficial cover story from the covert real intention… if you can withstand a little bit of guilt, shame and anxiety for a little while… if you collect courage and resist manipulation at the core.

You have the chance to change the manipulative communication to a fairer negotiation and effective cooperation. With it, you can change the relationship to a more equal and satisfactory connection!

More information about Emotional Manipulation is on my Blog and my Special Anti-Manipulation Website: From Stings To Wings

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Zita Fekete



I am more than happy to help figuring out the causes of relationship problems. I am especially devoted to support you to gain clarity and teach practical-behavioral tools if you are struggling with manipulative partner.

Click here to get a FREE VIDEO SERIES about Emotional Manipulation.

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Location: Mukilteo, WA

Credentials: MA Psychologist, Budapest, ABD PhD. Ethologist, Budapest, Licensed Mental Health Counselor WA

Specialty: Emotional Manipulation, Relationship Issues



Sound Soul Counseling Website

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From Strings To Wings - Training, Video, Q&A about Emotional Manipulation

Location: Mukilteo, WA
Credentials: LMHC, MA
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