4: Iron Fist
5: Triangulator - or Divide and Conquer
Self reinforcing process
Look back! At the beginning, you didn’t have to do anything to be appreciated. Now you bend backwards and you’re not good enough. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you – this is the nature of the process. The truth is that your compliance reinforces the pressurizing process simply because it works.
The manipulator applies pressure on you (remember: guilt, shame anxiety). In response, you do what s/he wants to avoid those feelings. S/he learns that this is the way how s/he can get what s/he wants. The more you comply, the harder the manipulation becomes.
Entrapped, helpless, hopeless
As the manipulator controls your feelings, and through your feelings your behavior, you feel helpless, and hopeless. All of this is disguised as goodwill, you feel entrapped. No wonder.
However: if you realize what’s going on around you… if you are able to separate the superficial cover story from the covert real intention… if you can withstand a little bit of guilt, shame and anxiety for a little while… if you collect courage and resist manipulation at the core.
You have the chance to change the manipulative communication to a fairer negotiation and effective cooperation. With it, you can change the relationship to a more equal and satisfactory connection!