In self-development, I prefer to look at the effects of past experiences as potential gifts that can propel us higher into our personal power — something like the manure that stinks and at the same time promotes such excellent plant growth. This is because taking a view that we are somehow impaired can, itself, become a roadblock to recovery and growth.
To tap into the gift that comes with our past — traumatic or pleasurable — we need to expand our consciousness and take responsibility for creating everything we experience and opening ourselves up to the possibility of creating anything we desire. For most of us, this is a lifetime process of meeting our blocks again and again in a different guise. The frustration from meeting roadblocks can itself be a block — we need to be aware that each time we meet a roadblock and overcome it we move on to a higher realm, more powerful than before.
A big roadblock is our ignorance of how our mind works. Even when we have the knowledge, it is often at an intellectual level while our subconscious, which is conditioned to perceive the world through the very traumas that we are trying to transcend, keeps us slipping back into the same old patterns. This is the common reaction of the ego, which wants to remain in familiar past because uncomfortable as it might be, it feels safer than scaling the unknown heights of personal growth. In fact, the roadblocks to transcending trauma result because we are conditioned to operate from the ego self rather than our higher self.
Some common pitfalls to be mindful of:
holding on to things past
repeatedly mulling over unsupportive stories with the associated emotions
blaming others for what happened or is happening instead of accepting our own power to create whatever we desire
holding a lack of forgiveness towards ourselves and others
feeling entitled to life being a certain way just for our sake (asking why me?)
failing to use our will to set limits for and to choose our emotions and behaviour
If you find yourself engaging in these thoughts, you will find yourself unable to move forward. Once you are ready to make positive changes, you will see just how much your willingness will open up your mind to making real changes. It is possible and it should be reassuring because it is all up to you!
More personal development coach advice on YourTango: