What's So Scary About Being Single?

Dr. Amy Johnson will put your mind at ease.

By Amy Johnson — Written on Oct 16, 2012

What's So Scary About Being Single? [EXPERT]

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"Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else." —Anonymous

As a relationship coach, I talk to a lot of single women. It's pretty rare to find one who wants to be in a relationship, isn't in one and is perfectly relaxed about it. There is usually some fear lurking under the surface.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that single women are living in fear; most are not. They have busy, happy lives just like coupled people. But when many of these successful, self-assured, independent single women let their guard down, most of them admit that they are afraid that maybe they will never meet "him."

Many are afraid that their ship has sailed, they let "the one" get away or that the older and more established they get, it will only become harder to find someone who fits into their life. I get it because I was there too.

I met my now husband when I was just shy of 27 and although I was perfectly happy on my own at the time, I had my moments of doubt. Part of me wanted to "just meet him already" so that I could breathe a little easier. I thought that once I met him and it was clear that we were headed toward marriage, there would be one less thing to worry about, one less way my life might not go according to my plans.

I realize now that this was not about a relationship, per se. Looking back, I felt the exact same way about finding the right job, then about finding the right first home to purchase and then about getting pregnant at the right time. Way before I was ready for all of those things to show up in my life, I wanted them in the bag. I wanted a guarantee that I would indeed have them, even before I was actually ready for them.