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10 Effective Alternatives To Spanking Your Child

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10 Effective Alternatives To Spanking Your Child [EXPERT]
Spanking is associated with an increased risk of mental disorders in adulthood.
... featuring advice from our experts about how to punish kids without causing psychological harm.

A study published in the July issue of the journal Pediatrics discovered a link between adult-onset mental health disorders — including substance abuse and anxiety — and childhood physical punishment — including spanking — thereby begging the question: How should parents discipline their kids?

1. Cool down first. Never discipline when you feel angry with what your child has done. — Deborah Chelette-Wilson

More from YourTango: Guide to Becoming a Soul-Full Woman – Being a Belief Detective

2. Take a time-out.Deborah Chelette-Wilson

3. Give the child time to calm down. Your child will not hear your message if he/she is stressed out. — Deborah Chelette-Wilson

4. Listen to your child. After you both have calmed down listen to what your child has to say about his/her behavior. — Deborah Chelette-Wilson

5. Understand the reason for your child's misbehavior. Armed with an understanding of your child's thinking, you may find that the misbehavior is really a reactive child engaging in a developmentally expectable behavior that needs your guidance, rather than punishment. — Deborah Chelette-Wilson

6. Tell your child what was wrong and what is right. When considering how to help the child, reassure him/her of your love and then explain why the behavior was not okay and what he/she needs to do next time. This is the behavior you want. Too often we tell children what not to do and leave off what they need to do. — Deborah Chelette-Wilson

7. Take a breath. Spanking often happens when you're so frustrated you don't know what else to do. So, take a breath, count to ten, and tell your child you need a few minutes to think it through. This will give you time to calmly think about a next step, or ask for help. (And you'll be modeling a great problem-solving technique!) — Fern Weis

8. Turn the situation into a learning experience. What you really want is for your child to learn something. Punishments (like spanking or taking something away) teach him/her to become clever at getting around you and your rules. But they don't make kids more cooperative. — Fern Weis

For a limited time only, receive a copy of our eBook "Love After Kids" (a $5 value) — yours free when you sign up for YourTango's daily newsletter!

More from YourTango: Taking Ownership Of Your Past To Become A 'Soul-Full' Women

Want to learn more? Tune in now through September 18 for the YourTango Experts intensive event, Love After Kids, featuring all kinds of advice and insights from our experts about the unique challenges of coparenting in the digital age.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Deborah Chelette-Wilson

Life Coach

Soulfull Woman Deborah Chelette-Wilson is a Licensed Professional Counselor, speaker and life coach who has helped many women find that elusive “something missing” in their lives. We are often pulled in so many directions, that it’s difficult to know how to put ourselves on our own To Do list. Deborah offers a 15-minute free life coaching session exclusive to YourTango readers to help you identify what steps you can take to finding a more stress-free and soulfull You.

Location: Winnsboro, TX
Credentials: LPC, NCC
Specialties: Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Deborah Chelette-Wilson:

Guide to Becoming a Soul-Full Woman – Being a Belief Detective

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