Discover the Truth about Happiness & How to get there On-Demand. 1st time ever, a chapter revealed.
Mastering the Art of Feeling Good Intro Series: Part-3
This is exciting because this is the first time ever that I've revealed a full chapter of my book, Mastering the Art of Feeling Good. When I was thinking about the best way to sum up achieving happiness on-demand, I realized I already had, so here it is...
(Chapter 5) Where Happiness Is – and Where it is Not
“The foolish (wo)man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” James Oppenheim
It’s time now to start considering feeling happy most of the time. The first steps are what we’ve covered already: Know what you are. Begin thinking and doing the things that bring joy to you. Dream your dreams and cultivate them. So now we can look at some maintenance practices, starting with intentionally creating habits of feeling good and being happy. Believe it or not, unhappiness is a habit, or series of habits; thus, happiness can be a habit too!
The goal is to Feel Good as much as possible. And I’m not referring to the use of mood or mind altering substances or practices that involve anything outside of you – these are not sustainable, nor can they always be obtained on demand. I am referring to the mood and mind altering practices that you are capable of doing yourself on demand. I like how the late Lester Levinson, creator of The Sedona Method, put it when describing how to find the “ultimate good” that we’ve all been struggling and searching for. He said, “We’re so habituated into looking over here, over there, in him, in her, in this job…and it never is there!” So if it’s not there, where is it? If it’s not outside of you, where else can you search? Only inside. You’ve probably heard that before, but may not have really known how to do it; I didn’t know how to do it for a long time.
“When we look at a child, we see that the sense of fullness, of intrinsic aliveness, of joy in being, is not the result of something else. There is value in just being oneself; it is not because of something one does or doesn’t do. It is there in the beginning, when we are children, but slowly it gets lost.” A. H. Almaas
Stop now, looking outside yourself to find what’s inside. This is very important: Take some time to be by yourself either later today or tomorrow and practice just being for a little bit. Take 3-10 deep breathes, counting up to five or eight while taking in air through your nose, hold it for a few seconds and then exhale slowly through your mouth for the same count (5-8) trying to get all your air out before the next breath. That alone will promote relaxation. During this exercise, do your best to let any negative or worrisome thoughts and feelings be released from you with your exhales and feel relaxed, and let good feelings enter into you with each life-giving breath of oxygen taken in. Then make it your goal to just be while you sit silently and undisturbed for a few minutes. You may want to silently tell yourself, “Just be. Just be - just for now.” If a noise distracts you, calmly say to yourself, “Noise does not bother me.” Repeat those phrases as needed to allow yourself to just be for a while. When any disruptive thoughts enter, calmly let them go. When any unwanted feelings surface, allow them to enter, and then let them dissipate. And just be.
In this practice, and repetition of it, you will begin to find and connect with your Source which flows through you, and is in you. Eventually, your effectiveness of the practice and gaining its benefits will increase. Don’t give up on it. You can expect more barriers in the beginning because you’ll have to learn how to get better at eliminating them – which you will with practice. Don’t resist the busy thoughts that are entering your mind, just get back to focusing on your breathing. Do this for about 5 minutes in the beginning and work up to 15 minutes. After the busy thoughts subside, you will eventually go into an altered state of consciousness and you will feel very relaxed with very different kind of freeing good feelings and thoughts entering your consciousness, and you’ll experience a sense of wellbeing. You will be in a meditative-like state where you will not be offering any busy thought, and at the same time you will try not to reject any thought. Just experience the goodness that comes and try not to resist anything that you label as undesirable, just let everything flow. You’ll enjoy it and you’ll relax. Any time you find yourself “thinking,” focus back on your breathing. You can expect some immediate positive results because you’re looking in the right place. Duration will come with practice.
Your experience will ideally lead you to feelings of inner peace, the ultimate source of love, forgiveness and acceptance. Very soon then you will realize that it has always been there for you. It is now. And it always will be. Those are the feelings of peace, happiness and joy. When you hold a quiet mind and become non-resistant, you eventually become self-obvious. Knowing how to get to that place inside, empowers you with the knowledge that you are the one capable of giving yourself everything you need and want to feel good, any time you want. The outside world then becomes less powerful to you in your need to have things from it (i.e. a man, a woman, money, etc.). Everything you need to be happy is right inside of you. You are your own source for happiness.
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.” Anne Frank
In my experience, there is no greater feeling of joy than the feelings associated with knowing, I am. I am love. I am complete. Deep down, where I’d never looked before, I found my connection; I found I am omniscient. So are you. Our Creative Source is in all of us trying to get acknowledged and expressed through our relaxed and non-resistant minds and into our feelings and actions. This wellbeing is best expressed through love, peace, forgiveness, kindness, acceptance, and good-will overall. You are a vehicle of this perfect beauty and state of wellbeing. Realize it is happiness. Realize it is the first step in allowing your Source to shine through you and you are one with the Universe. We are all capable of experiencing this ultimate happiness inside because we all possess it. When we can experience it for ourselves, we are able to share it with others as we become more inclined to operate from a loving place.
“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.” Buddha
No “one” can “make” you happy, or unhappy for that matter. Your “stuff” cannot make you happy, or the “lack of” stuff make you unhappy. It is you alone that determines your state of happiness. People, things and circumstances can incite you to have a happy feeling, but you are the determiner of your own happiness, momentarily and sustained. You alone are reason enough to be happy. You possess the Source of all existence within you. You can do nothing and have nothing and still find the happiness that is you. In knowing this, you can believe that all things are possible for you. So if you want good people and things around you, you now know that you can create this by allowing your own beauty to emit from within and, like a magnet, you will attract similar vibrations from around you and repel what is not. If you want to be happier, you can create more happiness.
“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.” Helen Keller
At this point, I want to acknowledge and give credit to Hale Dwoskin, president of the Sedona Training Associates and best-selling author of The Sedona Method. When I received the free introductory CD and DVD of The Sedona Method from the Sedona.com website, I felt that I had found the missing link. I had been practicing positive thinking, I’d been exploring on my spiritual journey for over two decades already, I had learned to mentally let some things go through exposure to the 12-Step groups, and had also found success years ago in deactivating powerful negative triggers to my subconscious through Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), found at emofree.com. All of these have served significant purpose in my journey and have helped to unpeel the layers of conditioned discontent. Sedona “just happened” to fall upon me in my search for more. The effects of learning how to let go of unwanted feelings through the Sedona Method have been profound in my experience. I love Mr. Dwoskin and Lester Levinson for sharing a simple solution to gaining a way that has proven to add more happiness in my life on a daily basis than I’ve ever been able to experience before, by simply releasing negative, unwanted feelings at will.
But wait, there’s more! Besides learning the art of letting go of unwanted feelings (i.e. doubt, fear, anger, hurt, etc.), and the gift of learning to just be, there are other practices that, in combination with these first ingredients, will add to your habit of happiness. Remember this: Happiness is a choice you always possess and in recognizing that, choosing it can become your habit. Getting “connected” regularly builds your foundation. Start to focus on a goal of finding your happiness within by spending that quiet time with yourself on a regular basis. Then focus on not allowing old programs of thought and feeling of outside sources to interfere with you feeling happy, by learning and practicing to let go of the feelings that you do not want. The next few chapters will reveal some of the other ingredients that will supplement and reinforce your quest for more happiness. So let’s investigate how Attitude, Gratitude, and a perspective on Love will add to your ongoing happiness and joy. These ingredients will assist in the elimination of those unhappy habits and be replaced with more desirable happiness-promoting habits. Here is the mantra I use to keep in the practice of happy habits: “If it doesn’t feel good, think/do something else!”
Just for a smile: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” George Burns
Find out more on how to Feel Good Now & for a Lifetime, get my book, Mastering the Art of Feeling Good.
Want some help to create more of what you want in your life and to feel good more often? Check out my Life Coaching services or let's meet for an HOUR OF POWER! this week - It's my new discounted coaching session that can help you get going in the right direction for You!
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See you back here every Thursday morning for subsequent parts to the introduction series of Mastering the Art of Feeling Good.