to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Whatever You Do...Don't Fake it!

By . Posted on .

Whatever You Do...Don't Fake it!
If you're faking it in any area of your relationship it's only a matter of time before it comes back

There are few exceptions to this rule and at the moment I can't even think of any! If you're faking it in any area of your relationship it's only a matter of time before it comes back at you and bites you in the ass.

Once you've faked it, you've painted yourself into a corner with only two options: staying in the corner or walking out and messing up the paint.

More from YourTango: Lonely Isn't A Four Letter Word

Here's a really good example of making things hard for yourself by faking it.

Have you ever been with a man you really liked but who you didn't feel connected to sexually? When you're with him you just don't feel the chemistry. So rather than telling him you're having a problem feeling sexual, you decide to fake sexual pleasure instead. You pretend he's a great lover and that you're sexually satisfied. But there's a catch, as you continue to see him, you have to pretend to enjoy sex every time.

Now your options are limited. You can't tell him you're having a problem without making him wonder what's been going on with you all along. So the only other alternative is to keep going on with the sham until you can't stand it anymore.

There's relationship advice that will tell you to "fake it till you make it," but in this case and in many more; it's like using a band aid to cover a deeper problem.

There is only so long you can fake it in this situation, eventually you're going to want more from your intimate experience with him but it will very touchy when you ask for it.

If you ask, he will wonder what's you've been feeling and when the idea that you've been faking sexual pleasure gets into his head it will hit him hard. It will be a blow to his ego and his manhood. The fact that you're now being honest with him will be unimportant. He will only be able to focus on the fact that you lied, and it will cut him deeply. You've taken away from him the opportunity to do better and work on the problem with you. He will begin to question your love and your loyalty.

Relationship Advice: When a man learns you've been dishonest in one area, he will begin to doubt you all areas.

Let's be honest, you fake it because it's the easy way out; the path of least resistance. The more you think you can get away with, the more tempted you are to find ways to make things easier for you. Rather than having the courage to tell him the truth in the beginning and do something about it, you avoid the truth out of fear.

More from YourTango: Beware: An Internet Dating Horror Story

There are many fears you have to face if you're honest: fear of being judged, being unkind or being wrong. But none of the those fears is worse then the pain you cause by betraying someone who cares about you.

My best relationship advice is to be honest in your relationships about who you are and what you need from the beginning. If you have issues in your relationship about sex, money, or lifestyle address them from the start. If you fake it you'll end up not only hurting your man, but you will be paying the price of living a lie and in the end not getting what you really want.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Virginia Clark

Author

Virginia Clark

Contact Virginia now for your complimentary "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session"

Get your report: "How to Stop Pushing Love Away" 

Her book  "It's Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams" is available for instant download. Learn the 6 essential steps you need to go from single to married...and to the the man who is right for you!

Location: Phoenix, AZ
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Virginia Clark:

Lonely Isn't A Four Letter Word

By

Finding true love is a sacred journey; it’s a path we’ve been given to navigate this life. It took me years to stop being at war with my desire for partnership and embrace the call for love within me. And if it wasn’t your journey as well you probably wouldn’t be reading this. One of the greatest obstacles we must overcome on this ... Read more

Beware: An Internet Dating Horror Story

By

I feel compelled to write this warning to all you wonderful women who have been putting time and energy into internet dating. I want to tell you about my newest client and give you a heads-up if you’re Internet dating. Marcie is 52 years old and a highly accomplished woman. She’s recently divorced from a long marriage and has a beautiful ... Read more

5 Steps To Quickly Manifest True Love

By

Have you been looking for the love of your life for years with no result? Are you frustrated and feel like you must be doing something wrong? Even worse, have you begun believing that it's never going to happen? If this is you, take heart; love could be just around the corner. I know this is true because I experienced this myself in my mid 40's. I ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooch

Your Kiss is On My Lips

A kiss is one of the most intimate things you can do. Many men have won many ladies with a ...

Tux

Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman

3 feminine qualities that make men feel comfortable coming closer

empty nest: relationship advice for parents and their adult children

No More Empty Nest: When Your Adult Children Move Back Home

Your kids graduated school and now they're moving back home ... now what?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS