You may be experiencing "physical intimacy" with a man but are you feeling emotionally close to him?
Are you involved with a man you deeply care for but find that you can't get beyond having superficial conversations? Do you wish you could tell him more of what you're thinking and feeling? Are you afraid to talk about things that are important to you because you may scare him away or "burden" him with your thoughts?
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It's really painful to hold yourself back in a relationship, to feel you have to limit your conversations to subjects you feel are "safe". What happens is you end up sharing everything with a man except your true self.
I know how bad this can feel because for years I went out with men who were entertaining and fun, but unavailable for meaningful or deep conversation. It was like they projected a barrier around themselves that said "don't bother me with your stuff, I'm not interested in going there with you."
Here are a few things you can keep in mind to help you to change this dynamic in your relationships:
1. The most important thing is that you need the courage to speak up. You're half of the couple and your needs and desires are worth as much as his.
2. When You begin to open up, be sure it's at a time where there are no distractions such as the TV or computer. Pick a time when you are both relaxed and it's easy to talk.
3. Men learn by example! If you begin to open up in an honest and gentle way, you may find he will begin to feel safe enough to open up to you.
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Ultimately, to have a fulfilling relationship you need to be able to share your real self with a man and you will most likely be the one to make the first move in this area. If all your efforts fail and he resists opening up to you, you will have to decide if you want to stay in a relationship that lacks this kind of sharing.
It may be hard to be open with him but there is a reward. You'll feel more confident and sure of yourself. Your efforts will be a small price to pay for the benefit of having deepened your connection with your man.