ProConnect

When It's Time To Leave A Bad Relationship

By

When It's Time To Leave A Bad Relationship
Are you just staying in the relationship hoping your partner will change?
Ask yourself: Why are you holding on to a troubled relationship so tightly?

It's not easy to decide when enough is enough and walk away. It's especially hard when you've invested a lot of time and deep emotions are involved.

There's a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It can be really hard to discern who is worth holding on to and when it’s appropriate to just let go.

More from YourTango: 30 Fun Ways To Share & Spread The Love This Valentine's Day

There will come a time in your troubled relationship when you will find yourself asking, "How much more frustration, worry or sadness am I prepared to take in order to keep this relationship going?"

It's not easy to end a difficult relationship if it's been big part of your life. And honestly, these relationships are always a big part of your life because they're full of drama and require so much of your constant attention.

It's not uncommon to find yourself caught in the trap of "wishful hoping," which keeps you more focused on the future and avoiding the truth of the present. We've all been there; making excuses for bad behavior and rationalizing against all odds how things are bound to get better.

You may have been working on yourself for years and found, much to your frustration, that it has helped you, but it hasn't changed your partner's behavior at all. That's another trap because the fact is it's not your business to try to change anyone else. But then you discover you're spending most of your time and energy trying to do just that!

You have to ask yourself why you're holding on to a troubled relationship so tightly. How is this relationship serving you? There must be some benefit you're receiving or you wouldn't be putting up with the discomfort and the pain. Sometimes ,the benefit is that you have an excuse not to take responsibility for your own life (being a victim) because you're distracted with your "relationship problem."

Also, you have to know that the biggest reason you hold on long after you should let go is fear. You're afraid to be alone or afraid there will be no one else who will want you. But fear will be your jailor and will color every aspect of your life. Living with fear is the same as being in a state of constant stress. It will negatively affect your mind and body.

To know whether to leave a troubled relationship you have to ask yourself some tough questions: Are you staying in the relationship hoping your partner will change? Have you lost a part of yourself by denying what you want and need just to keep the relationship going? Is the relationship getting better and stronger with time or is it getting more chaotic and difficult?

If the answer to any of these is "yes", you should consider leaving. You may be responsible for creating the relationships in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to suffer in a relationship if it is no longer working for you. As Maya Angelou says, "When you know better, you do better."

You can be in a healthy relationship, one where you and your partner get along as equals. One where you're both doing the work needed to keep love and respect your first priority.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways To Make Valentines Day A Good Day!

More relationship advice for women from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Virginia Clark

Relationship Coach

My book,  "It's Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams" is available for instant download. It will teach you the 6 essential steps you need to go from single to married to the right man for you!

Join my email community and recieve my free MP3 "Letting Love In."

Apply for your complimentary "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session."

 

Location: Phoenix, AZ
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Virginia Clark:

The Tipping Point: Why Your Relationship Lost Its Spark

By

Have you been blindsided by a relationship that suddenly lost all its romance? Have you had great physical chemistry with a man that suddenly turned "ho hum" for no reason? Why do relationships that have so much promise fizzle out and lose their spark? There's a common mistake you might be making that will stop a great relationship in ... Read more

The Secret To Finding The Love Of Your Life

By

There's a little known secret that will increase your chances of having a successful relationship; a secret that will help you go from just dating a man to having him turn into the love of your life. It's not often talked about because this secret is not something you'd consider sexy or exciting; in fact it's the exact opposite. But if you ... Read more

30 Fun Ways To Share & Spread The Love This Valentine's Day

By ,

We know you've got the whole "romantic Valentine's Day" thing down pat. But in case you're looking to spread a little more love around, try these 30 ideas for making everyone's love holiday the best yet. Try these tips along, with gal pals, or your partner. We're feeling more festive already!   From ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Dating: So You're In Debt, When Should You Tell Them?

Debt And Dating: When Should You Reveal Financial Troubles?

Own up to money challenges at the appropriate time openly and honestly.

Common Stages Of Divorce

9 Tips For Navigating The Common Stages Of Divorce

Are you facing divorce? Design your own strategy for navigating the common stages of divorce.

Staying Dry

10 Signs Your Guy is Smitten

Does that new hunky guy you've been dating see you in his future? Here are 10 ways he'll show you.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS