“For all eternity you will be with you. There is no escaping your Self.”
~ Jacob Glass
If there were ever a reason to make the effort to love and appreciate who you are, this would be it. Just imagine you’ll be keeping yourself company for all time — so you better find a way to enjoy who you are.
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There are many benefits to loving yourself – one is having that love to give in a relationship. As they say, “You can’t give what you don’t have.”
When I was single I hated being told I had to learn to love myself if I wanted a man to love me. I was kind of hoping that a man’s love would make me love myself and give me the confidence I lacked.
I quickly learned that this was not the case. In fact, having a man’s affection made me actually feel the opposite. I suddenly felt insecure. The more they liked me the more I worried that I wasn’t good enough for them or that I was lacking in some way. It felt crazy; I couldn’t attract love, I couldn’t find a man that could make me feel good about myself. Even a man who others perceived as a “great catch” couldn’t do that for me.
Eventually I realized that there was no short cut to loving myself as I had hoped. It wasn’t going to come from someone outside of me. I had to bite the bullet and actually work at it.
So I started by making the effort to think, speak, and behave in ways that made me feel good about myself. I stopped looking to others for approval because I finally understood that it wasn’t going to give me what I needed. As I made changes I couldn’t help but begin to appreciate myself for finally taking care of me. I felt good about the woman I was becoming.
I began by stopping the inner dialogue I’d used for years to put myself down. This wasn’t easy; it felt like a part of me. It relentlessly told me I wasn’t good enough and that constant self-bad-mouthing had to stop.
I began to say, “Good morning beautiful!” to myself as looked in the mirror each day. I had to stop judging my puffy eyes and really see the beauty there. To this day, saying those words to myself in the morning actually makes me smile in spite of myself.
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So just like any change you want to make in your life, falling in love with yourself takes effort. It means leaving your comfort zone of self-talk putdowns and criticism. It means paying attention and pushing yourself every day to be better and do better.
When you get to the place where being with you for eternity is looking good, you’ll be ready to meet a man who feels the same way. You’ll be ready to attract love. You’ll recognize each other when you meet and you’ll understand why you had to fall in love with yourself first. You’ll both be free of needing each other to feel good, and there’ll be all that much more love for you to share.