ProConnect

The 3 Big Mistakes That Kill New Relationships

By

The 3 Big Mistakes That Kill New Relationships
How you sabbotage love before it even starts.

We all know it's not easy to find a man you really click with. If you're Internet dating or just going to singles events, it can take a lot of false starts and disappointing dates before you find a man who really captures your interest.

The fact that you go through so many unsatisfying dating experiences before you meet a man who really rings your bell puts you at a definite disadvantage. It's like trudging through a hot desert and finally seeing an oasis up ahead. Your natural reaction is to run towards water and drink your fill, but this can be a problem—you don't yet know if the water is real or just a mirage.

More from YourTango: The Tipping Point: Why Your Relationship Lost Its Spark

Here are 3 big mistakes that could ruin a new relationship before it gets off the ground:

More from YourTango: The Secret To Finding The Love Of Your Life

  1. You need to make something happen Because of the excitement at this new chance at love, you have a hard time letting things develop in their own time. Your need for assurance makes you start to manipulate and push to make things happen. Examples: making up rules in your head for how much and when he should text you or call, or planning your life around his schedule rather than your own.
  2. You put him on a pedestal I've seen this often. You go out with a man on 3 or 4 dates and feel as if you know everything about him. You get swept off your feet and decide he's a perfect match for you. You endow him all kinds of wonderful attributes meanwhile ignoring that only the test of time will reveal someone's true character. This is a dangerous practice and the leading cause of broken hearts. 
  3. You try to make a good impression You think you're in love, which makes you more vulnerable. He's too good to be true, and you worry if you're enough for him. To hide your feelings of insecurity, you put on a show of confidence. Before you know it, you've lost your self as you start doing things to impress him and to make yourself look better.

These 3 mistakes can be avoided if you develop a strong sense of your own worth—a healthy self-esteem. It's the foundation of any successful relationship. Without it you'll make bad choices and act in ways that aren't the real you. With self-esteem you'll be able to allow for the natural unfolding of new love without losing yourself along the way.

For More Dating Tips From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Virginia Clark

Relationship Coach

My book,  "It's Never Too Late To Marry: How to Have the Man and the Marriage of Your Dreams" is available for instant download. It will teach you the 6 essential steps you need to go from single to married to the right man for you!

Join my email community and recieve my free MP3 "Letting Love In."

Apply for your complimentary "Attract the Love of Your Life Breakthrough Session."

 

Location: Phoenix, AZ
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Virginia Clark:

The Tipping Point: Why Your Relationship Lost Its Spark

By

Have you been blindsided by a relationship that suddenly lost all its romance? Have you had great physical chemistry with a man that suddenly turned "ho hum" for no reason? Why do relationships that have so much promise fizzle out and lose their spark? There's a common mistake you might be making that will stop a great relationship in ... Read more

The Secret To Finding The Love Of Your Life

By

There's a little known secret that will increase your chances of having a successful relationship; a secret that will help you go from just dating a man to having him turn into the love of your life. It's not often talked about because this secret is not something you'd consider sexy or exciting; in fact it's the exact opposite. But if you ... Read more

30 Fun Ways To Share & Spread The Love This Valentine's Day

By ,

We know you've got the whole "romantic Valentine's Day" thing down pat. But in case you're looking to spread a little more love around, try these 30 ideas for making everyone's love holiday the best yet. Try these tips along, with gal pals, or your partner. We're feeling more festive already!   From ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Gay Dating

What I Learned About Unconditional Love

Guess Who Is Coming to Easter Dinner, the story of a mother who missed her gay son's wedding.

Golf

A Passion for Living

Passion is not a quality that some people are born with but not others.  To be ...

Relationships: 5 Ways To Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

5 Ways To Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

Learning to trust your own judgement and take risks will allow you to face your fear of commitment.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS