Don't let your smart phones ruin your love life! 5 ways to control the beast
Smart phones lead to dumb dates
First date in Washington, D.C., one of the fanciest steak houses of the city. A couple is sitting by the huge window, so I can see clearly what is happening. Both woman and man are tensed, the situation seems a bit awkward, for sure they are on their first date. The young woman is nicely dressed, her makeup is perfect, her hair is wonderful. She did everything right so far except for one thing: she takes out her smart phone from her bag, and takes a call. The man does not know what to do and the situation gets even more awkward when she starts texting after ending the call.
The atmosphere of the date is totally ruined, because taking a call on your first date means: “You and this date are not that important that I quit working and talking to other people.”
Text instead of sex?
Our addiction to gadgets (and to the Internet, respectively) influences our lives more than we can imagine: recent study shows that almost half of 16-34-year-olds check office messages in bed, instead of having a romantic small talk or sex with their partners. This means we are bringing our work not only to our first dates but later also to our beds. Just as the D.C. date did not end well (as I could tell from the men’s face), our relationships will suffer if we pay more attention to our work life than to our love life.
Smart phones are highly addictive, and that means you have to be really conscious about using them in order to keep a healthy balance between your work life and your love life.
Here are 5 ways to help you control the beast:
1. Ask yourself: where’s my focus right now?
Every time you check your smart phone, tablet, Mac, etc., in the company of someone else, you are communicating that whatever is happening in your Inbox, FB profile or Twitter is more important than the person you are being with. Are you sure that is what you want to communicate? Be aware of the messages you are sending out – not just on your phone, but also in real life.
2. Switch it off: first impressions cannot be repeated.
Maybe you can excuse yourself in front of your friends, but what about going on a first date and checking your phone all the time? Not many things can be more important than finding the One, so don’t leave a bad impression in your date partner. Be strong: to avoid the temptation, switch off your Internet, or your entire phone when you are meeting someone.
3. Create Internet-free zones in your flat.
After getting my first smart phone, two months later I realized that I am taking it even to the bathroom just to use my time as effectively as possible. If you are on the Internet, you are not present. The thousand pieces of information you receive by the minute keep your brain “high” all day, leaving no space for relaxation.
This causes stress, attention deficit disorder and also as a side effect, erodes the quality of your offline relationships. Don’t let this happen – create Internet-free zones in your flat where you consciously decide not to use any Internet-related devices. Your bed should be the first such zone you establish! Instead of chatting, start talking to your loved ones.
4. Keep an addiction log for a week.
How badly addicted are you to the Internet? Keep a log for a week where you write down each day how many non-work related hours you spent online. Most probably you will be shocked to see how many hours social networks take away from your life. Spend less time with online friends and more time with those who are actually around you.
5. Use smart phones to improve your love life not to ruin it!
Spend some “quality time” on your phone: be creative and send romantic texts to your partner or date. Don’t be cliché, use your imagination! Start today: send 3 kind, fun & creative texts to your loved one and see what happens! (If you haven't find him or her yet, get your dating compass today!)