The coaching profession today is exploding…. Some coaches are certified and some aren’t. Some specialize in a specific area of life, i.e. business, relationships, money, spirituality, and some just take a general overview of your whole life. There have been articles; television shows that talk of life make-overs; Oprah has her own stable of coaches (some of whom appear on the cover the National Inquirer!) How can you find out more about what’s possible with a coach and why it might be important to you living your best life?
This article will answer that question with many compelling reasons to begin a coaching relationship. But first, let’s look at the 7 pitfalls that people (women specifically) can fall into trying to make it in today’s world. As you read them, take each of them to heart--enter into the feelings and thoughts that accompany each one---try it on and see what you notice arising in you.
The Masculine Model
This is the One of the Boys perspective. Things get delegated from the top down with no collaboration, just supporting the status quo. We’ve all experienced it. In order to get credibility or respect we will follow the rules and subjugate our authentic selves to fit in. Wanting to be in the ‘club’ is natural, but wearing a mask has a cost--our individuality and uniqueness.
Are you a Superwoman? Do you do it all, impressing everyone with your super competency, becoming indispensable? Well the end result I’ve seen from being this way is becoming a Martyr. Overworking yourself, because only you can do it perfectly, only leads to exhaustion and a feeling of resentment towards others, who never appreciate you enough. Righteousness with lots of judging others will drain your body and soul, making you dependent on the recognition from outside yourself.
Do you feel like you have no voice? No power? That you’ve tried over and over but nothing ever changes, so you give up all your sense of choice? You have no recourse, nothing will ever turn out for you, everyone is against you and you just shut down to get by. By not taking any responsibility--it’s always someone else’s fault--you remain innocent but the price is helplessness. Hard to create any dreams from here.
Someday My Prince will Come
Many women have been taught that they will be rescued, so why take on anything themselves? Someone else has their answers and will sweep into their lives (one day) and take care of things--there’s no need to take action. My ‘real’ life will begin when I meet the right partner; take the right workshop; find the right job. In this scenario you become seduced by a myth that the answers aren’t within you. It can seem like an easy road, a free ride. Unfortunately you stay stuck as you wait…and wait….and wait.