At this time on the planet, a time of so much accelerated change, it is easy to forget that the importance of female sexual satisfaction has only become widely accepted here in America since the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, and the women’s liberation movement that accompanied it. However, let’s not forget that in many parts of the world, and even in certain reactionary circles here in America, the prevailing attitude continues to be that it is a woman’s duty to sexually service men, and many disempowered women just grit their teeth and bear it.
In sexual relationships, as in most areas of life, these are unprecedented times. Old pictures, models, concepts, roles and expectations are seemingly disintegrating all around us, and many of us are not sure how to replace them. Fortunately, tantric tradition offers men the guidance and direction that we seek in our sexual interactions with women, and lord knows we can use the help.
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Tantric teachings remind us that real sexual satisfaction is equally vital to both men and women and can only exist if it is mutual. The attitude of tantric lovers toward each other is one of worship. Each sees the other as the embodiment of God/Goddess. There is an inherent equality and a healthy respect between male and female lovers. They are encouraged to see beyond mundane problems and personality shortcomings, beyond all that might be considered superficial, and to honor and recognize the divinity of each person. In this way, we are provided with a powerful reflection from our lover that tends to put us in touch with our own spirituality.
The ancient teachings are quite clear that to create consistent and harmonious relationships, men must open their hearts and learn to approach sex as a mystical and spiritual act. The challenge for men is to find that “spark of divinity” that they can only achieve through union with the “sacred feminine.” Ultimately, they must make love with the attitude that serving the Goddess is the first and foremost goal. A man’s greatest motivating force is his desire to please his woman. In tantric tradition, it is mandatory that women be honored. This includes the mother, sister, daughter, wife and grandma; in short, all women. Remember, it is women who give birth, women who nourish.
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Contrary to Judeo-Christian patriarchal cultures where there is a long history of women being relegated to a secondary and restricted role, tantric women have always been fully emancipated. They have always been viewed as initiatresses into the “sexual mysteries” ---- the instigators of sexual play. Women have served as priestesses, and have been worshipped as the living Goddess. Tantra evolved in matriarchal societies. Women controlled the economy, the family and their own bodies. In tantric sexual rites, women have always been granted the “first rite” of sexual satisfaction.
The ancient sages taught that it behooved a man to rouse his lover to as many orgasms as she desired since a woman’s orgasms were known to be as important to the man as to the woman. After all, her orgasms by heightening the potency of her female sexual essence greatly benefits him since he gets to absorb her powerful sexual juices, and the essence that emanates from them, through the head of his penis and the membranes of its skin.