Connecting Families: A Relationship Enhancement Program

listens. If no agreement can
be reached, take a break and try again at a time both agree upon.
Sources:
Markman, H., Stanley, S., and Blumberg, S. (1994). Fighting for Your Marriage. San Francisco: Jossey-
Bass Publishers.
Gottman., J., and Silver, N., (1999). Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Three
Rivers Press.
Connecting Families Penn State Cooperative Extension
Planning for Success, Session 4 46 2004
Handout 3
Goals Analysis
Every couple has goals that they either acknowledge, or are unspoken. Knowing
individual and couple goals assists the couple in working together to achieve success.
Goals can be binding if both individuals perceive them to be important. Use the
following form to evaluate your personal and couple goals. Being honest is critically
important to knowing where you are in terms of achieving something that is important to
you. After completing the assessment, use the points that you listed as a means to confer
with your partner about each other’s perceptions.
List four of your immediate personal goals:
1. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
List the four most important immediate goals you have for your relationship:
1. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
List four of your long-term personal goals:
1. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
List the four most important long-term goals you have for your relationship:
1. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Connecting Families Penn State Cooperative Extension
Program Evaluation 47 2004
Connecting Families Program Evaluation Overview
An individual’s mastery of skills such as interpersonal communication techniques,
negotiation strategy and anger management require more than just learning of the skill. It
is through repeated use of the skill that it becomes tacit knowledge that is easily applied
in stressful situations. The first step in the process is learning “how to use” the skill. The
second is through “learning by doing” or using the skill in daily interaction. When the
use of the skill or application of information naturally occurs without deliberate thought,
the mastery level of the skill has occurred for it has become apart of the individuals
repertoire of skills that support their behavior.
Obviously the mastery level cannot occur in one session. In one session, only the
learning of what is involved in the skills and how it can be applied is achievable.
The following written survey is designed to document changes in perceptions of one’s
relationship and skills that were learned as a result of participation.
The most effective strategy to use is to conduct a pre and post assessment. The pretest is
given when the participant enters the program and the post-test is given at the conclusion
of the educational intervention. Participant’s pre and posttests need to be identified by
coding, using an identification system or series of numbers. The tracking sheet (Session
Participant Pre and Post Assessment Tracking Scores Sheet) will assist you in easily
recording the participant's scores.
The following survey has questions that focus on the participant’s perception of their
relationship and the learning that occurred as a result of the sessions. To analyze the data
the difference between the pretest and posttest is calculated to generate a gain in score
value.
Section 1
Connecting Families Penn State Cooperative Extension
Program Evaluation 48 2004
Connecting Families Program Survey
Directions : Please indicate, with a check mark R , the extent in which you believe that each of
the following statements is true or false for you.
Always
False
More
False than
True
Neither More
True than
False
Always
True
1. Men and women have the same reactions to
situations.
2. I get upset when my partner and I cannot see
things the same way
3. I know my partner well enough to predict their
likes, dislikes and actions.
4. When my partner and I disagree, I feel like our
relationship is falling apart.
5. My partner and I accept each others faults.
6. We show one another that we like and love each
other.
7. We do things together to have fun.
8. We respect the rights of each other.
9. I do not expect my partner to sense all my
moods.
10. We are emotionally and physically faithful to
each other.
11. When I show my weakness, I rely on my partner
to react in a positive way.
12. I rely on my partner to keep the promises he/she
makes to me.
13. I have to keep on alert or my partner may take
advantage of me.
14. I cannot accept it when my partner disagrees
with me.
15. My partner is trustworthy, even when away from
me.
16. My partner and I can resolve our differences by
talking about them.
17. I feel safe in voicing my gripes to my partner.
18. My partner does not take advantage of my
weaknesses.
19. My partner and I can handle whatever conflicts
will arise in the future.
20. I feel good about our future relationship.
21. My partner shows his affection for me on a daily
basis.
22. My partner has negative qualities that cause
trouble in our relationship.
23. I want to grow old with my partner.
24. I am confident when I think of our future
together.
Section 2
Connecting Families Penn State Cooperative Extension
Program Evaluation 49 2004
Directions : People in a program learn different things. Please tell us how much you think
you have learned about the skills and information that was presented in the workshop.
1 2 3 4
NOTHING A MODERATE A GREAT
NEW LITTLE AMOUNT DEAL
____ 1. Identify my personal values, expectations and assumptions about marriage.
____ 2. Understand how values, expectations and assumptions influence my relationship.
____ 3. Recognize what are our jointly held values, expectations and assumptions.
____ 4. Understand that conflict is a natural aspect of relationships.
____ 5. Can identify the behaviors that accelerate conflict in my relationship.
____ 6. Learned how to use “I” statements.
____ 7. Know how “you” statements increase conflict.
____ 8. Know how to use “one minute gripe” technique.
____ 9. Can identify danger signs that indicate a relationship needs help.
____ 10. Know the steps to deal positively with conflict.
____ 11. Know how to use the speaker- listener technique.
____ 12. Can identify behaviors in my relationship that escalate anger.
____ 13. Know how to use the steps of negotiation to resolve anger.
____ 14. Can identify goals that are jointly held by my partner and I.
____ 15. Can identify positive things we can do as a couple to strengthen our
relationship.
Section 3
Connecting Families Penn State Cooperative Extension
Program Evaluation 50 2004
Directions : Please provide some information about yourself by placing an “X” in the box that
corresponds to the answer that describes you best.
Gender
r MALE
r FEMALE
Age
1 18-25
1 26-35
1 36-45
1 46-55
1 56 OR OVER
Your Current Relationship
r MARRIAGE
r ENGAGED
r REMARRIED
r LIVING TOGETHER
r DATING
Regarding your family while you were growing up:
1

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