Why People Get Married

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Why People Get Married
You might be surprised to find out the number one reason people get married. And no, it isn't sex.

Society in general has given us the myth that the number one reason people get married is to have sex.  Granted that is part of the equation, but it actually isn't the number one motivating factor.

The number one reason people get married...drum roll please...is because they have fun together!  It almost sounds to simple to really be true, but true it is.  Now let's look at the deeper issue involved in having fun.  Having fun creates the emotion of "joy" in the brain.  The "joy emotion" is the one emotion that re-sets our emotional switchboard deep in the middle of the brain.  This means that when we are having fun we are not feeling pain.  We are en-joying life.  We have ditched the cares and woes of daily life and just simply having a good time.

 

It is so sad that getting married soon loads couples down with tons of responsibilities.  Little by little all the tasks and necessities weigh people down.  Pretty soon they are not having fun.  All of a sudden they wake up one morning and say, "hey, this is NOT fun!" Then they immediately go to the next thought.  "We must have fallen out of love!"

Not true.  You've just let the world take over your fun space.  THIS CAN'T BE!!! Couples MUST BE INTENTIONAL about making time to have some plain old fun together.  Here is one of the best ideas I can think of that has worked for so many of my couples:

Have a pedicure together! Tell him this is a field trip of sorts! I got this idea from an intensive marriage counseling week that my team once attended. We asked couples for ideas of things they could do together. The idea of having a pedicure together was the overwhelming winner!

OK...so I challenge ALL of you to take your husbands for a pedicure. There are places that have individual private rooms for this, which is helpful. It is one of the most vulnerable things you'll ever do together...and lots of FUN!

And when you walk out of there...you will NOT believe how relaxed you are. It seems that most of the major nerves pass through our feet. To revive those nerves with tender loving care seems to relax the ENTIRE body!

So the next time your life and marriage gets bogged down...schedule a pedicure together.  This will not only bring great relaxation to your tired bodies, you will re-connect, laugh, be vulnerable together and you will have FUN!!  This might lead to even more fun things afterwards...so enjoy!

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson

Author

Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

www.missingpieces.org

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
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