Is It OK To Talk About My Abortion?


Is It OK To Talk About My Abortion?
Women don't talk for fear of risking rejection, condemnation or invalidation over a past abortion.

Is it OK to talk about my abortion?

Glamour Magazine offered an article (February '09) that almost knocked me off my feet. I was really shocked when the magazine actually had a piece that has been my own personal soapbox for years.

You can read the article titled, "Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren't Talking About Until Now" by typing in this url:

Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren’t Talking About Until Now


The "A"- word (abortion) incites an incredible amount of political and religious rheteroic. In the meantime, women who have made choice decisions sit silently with no venue to grieve. Women don't talk for fear of risking rejection, condemnation, misunderstanding or invalidation of the pain they might feel. There is a natural and unavoidable grief process for choice decisions, yet there is no venue for talking about, crying or expressing any emotion about the loss.

If you need to talk about a past abortion, here are some things to consider:

1), You need to make sure the person you are sharing with is someone you know that you can share your deepest, darkest secrets with. This person should be an important person whom you know would be safe and supportive.

2). You never know how people are going to react when you break the news to them. They might never suspect that you have an abortion in your past. For this reason, be prepared for them to have an initial reaction that might not be exactly what you would want it to be. Give them a few minutes before you start the wishing you had never opened your mouth. If they are the safe person you think they are, they will usually come through with compassion and support.

3). At any rate, don’t start second-guessing your relationship after you share. You might imagine they are looking at you differently. Another natural thing to do is to start reading their mind. You might start believing that you aren’t seeming as remorseful as you should appear to them. Thoughts like these will drive you crazy and will jeopardize the relationship. You have to trust that you shared with this particular person because they are a safe person like you think they are.

This article was originally published at Missing Pieces . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson


Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad," Part 2


Last week I talked with a 20-something woman about the grief she was feeling after her voluntary pregnancy termination. In her quest to find relief for her situation, she never dreamed she would be struck with an overwhelming sadness that she couldn't shake. Only a little less shocking than the news of the pregnancy (she was on birth control pills) was ... Read more

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad"


The voice on the other end of the line was hesitant. I could tell this was a woman who wasn't sure she could trust her own instincts, much less trust me. I tried to re-assure her that I am a safe person to talk with about unexpected grief after voluntarily terminating a pregnancy. As we talked, I realized how many times I'd heard this ... Read more

Had An Abortion? 4 Tips For Surviving Mother’s Day


For women who once made the decision to terminate a pregnancy, Mother's Day can be an emotional and difficult day. Particularly, if you never told those closest to you about your abortion. In such cases, you may feel like you have no one to talk to about your sadness because you are afraid of condemnation. Despite the fact that an abortion can weigh ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular