Women don't talk for fear of risking rejection, condemnation or invalidation over a past abortion.
Is it OK to talk about my abortion?
Glamour Magazine offered an article (February '09) that almost knocked me off my feet. I was really shocked when the magazine actually had a piece that has been my own personal soapbox for years.
You can read the article titled, "Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren't Talking About Until Now" by typing in this url:
Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren’t Talking About Until Nowhttp://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2009/02/the-serious-health-decision...
The "A"- word (abortion) incites an incredible amount of political and religious rheteroic. In the meantime, women who have made choice decisions sit silently with no venue to grieve. Women don't talk for fear of risking rejection, condemnation, misunderstanding or invalidation of the pain they might feel. There is a natural and unavoidable grief process for choice decisions, yet there is no venue for talking about, crying or expressing any emotion about the loss.
If you need to talk about a past abortion, here are some things to consider:
1), You need to make sure the person you are sharing with is someone you know that you can share your deepest, darkest secrets with. This person should be an important person whom you know would be safe and supportive.
2). You never know how people are going to react when you break the news to them. They might never suspect that you have an abortion in your past. For this reason, be prepared for them to have an initial reaction that might not be exactly what you would want it to be. Give them a few minutes before you start the wishing you had never opened your mouth. If they are the safe person you think they are, they will usually come through with compassion and support.
3). At any rate, don’t start second-guessing your relationship after you share. You might imagine they are looking at you differently. Another natural thing to do is to start reading their mind. You might start believing that you aren’t seeming as remorseful as you should appear to them. Thoughts like these will drive you crazy and will jeopardize the relationship. You have to trust that you shared with this particular person because they are a safe person like you think they are.
This article was originally published at Missing Pieces . Reprinted with permission from the author.