Dreading The Holidays? It Might Be From Unprocessed Grief


Personal Development Coach: How To Navigate Grief During Holidays
Unacknowledged sorrow can catch women off-guard during the holiday season.

As fall weather creeps in, most people are gearing up for holiday fun with family and friends. Between Halloween, Thanksgiving and winter holidays, there's a lot to look forward to. But for some women, the holidays bring feelings of grief, anxiety, depression and regret. According to this expert, a voluntary pregnancy termination is one of the hardest things to deal with during the holidays. Although you may feel you've completely recovered and moved on from your decision, a sense of mourning can creep in as the rest of the world celebrates. Learn how to accept and finally release your sadness. 

Unprocessed grief is something professional therapists always look for when making assessments. If clients are hiding losses that they have not processed or accepted, it can cause several emotional problems like anxiety, depression, fear of relationships, and even destructive behaviors or addictions.

These issues are difficult to deal with on a day-to-day basis, but oh, how the holidays can pull an extra trigger on those emotions we manage to keep hidden the rest of the year. As the whole world thinks of celebration and connection, a woman can plunge deep into a hole she is unable to climb out of. This frequently happens as she ruminates over past sorrows. One of the most common causes of this seasonal darkness is prior pregnancy termination. This may surprise you because we rarely discuss this issue in public, but there are many women dealing with its emotional fallout.

The loss associated with any kind of pregnancy situation is particularly deep and upsetting, and the holiday season can be the deepest, darkest time of the year for those dealing with it because of unprocessed grief.. This grief can catch women completely unaware, because they may have previously felt they had completely healed from their issues..

If you are a woman who is starting to dread the holidays because you know this grief situation is fixing to hit you like a Mack truck, you must know that you are not alone! There is hope, and you should begin the process to put your VPT (voluntary pregnancy termination) decision behind you once and for all! Don't go into another holiday season with your secret hanging over your head.

Our culture gives women permission to choose, but not permission to grieve their choice. It is implied that the choice brings closure, but this is rarely the case. Unprocessed grief after abortion can cause future emotional challenges for women. This is why I wrote C.P.R. — Choice Processing and Resolution as a way to help women to face their grief after abortion without fear. This self-help plan gives women a real way to process their grief after abortion and reach a place of peace.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson


Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.


Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad," Part 2


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"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad"


The voice on the other end of the line was hesitant. I could tell this was a woman who wasn't sure she could trust her own instincts, much less trust me. I tried to re-assure her that I am a safe person to talk with about unexpected grief after voluntarily terminating a pregnancy. As we talked, I realized how many times I'd heard this ... Read more

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For women who once made the decision to terminate a pregnancy, Mother's Day can be an emotional and difficult day. Particularly, if you never told those closest to you about your abortion. In such cases, you may feel like you have no one to talk to about your sadness because you are afraid of condemnation. Despite the fact that an abortion can weigh ... Read more

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