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Did You Know Abortion Isn't the Closure?

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Did You Know Abortion Isn't the Closure?
Common sense says that the choice was the closure. Unfortunately, this isn't so for many women.

Common sense says that the choice was the closure. Unfortunately, for many women this isn’t the case.  Grieving the loss incurred because of a decision for choice is the last step in the process that will bring closure.  As a licensed therapist who has herself made a decision for choice, I am familiar with the grieving process that can accompany the option of choice.  Through my own journey of processing and resolving that choice, I discovered the concept of disenfranchised grief.

Kenneth J. Doka is an expert in the field of disenfranchised grief.  He defines it as “the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.”  Women don’t talk about their voluntary pregnancy terminations (“vpt”) or abortions for fear of condemnation, discounting and minimizing of their grief.

More from YourTango: Staying Safe Processing Grief After Abortion - Step Five

My work with others as a professional made me realize how many women experience grief after choice decisions.  There is no venue for women in our culture to share and to cry after an abortion.  A quote from one of my clients states it this way:  “There is a conspiracy among the sisterhood not to talk to each other about our voluntary pregnancy terminations.  We don’t discuss the pain of the loss, but everyone feels the loss.  We just try to ‘buck up’ and get on with life.  It would be so much better if we had permission to talk to each other about what we feel.”

More from YourTango: How VPT Grief Might Impact Your Daily Life - Step Four

If you are confused because you thought the choice would bring you closure, then you probably have some unfinished surrounding this issue in your life.  This is why I wrote C.P.R. ~ Choice Processing and Resolution as a self-help book women can use in the privacy of their homes to process through only the grief component of a voluntary pregnancy termination.

If there is a tugging at your heart surrounding your abortion secret, it is your gut telling you now is the time to bring resolution and closure to this place in your past.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson

Author

Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

www.missingpieces.org

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

Staying Safe Processing Grief After Abortion - Step Five

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Staying safe in the process of working through grief after abortion can be very difficult.  Safety is very important though.  Everyone grieves differently.  Anne Morrow Lindbergh (who lost a child to kidnapping) once said, “Grief can’t be shared.  Everyone shares it alone, his own burden, his own way.”  Know that other ... Read more

How VPT Grief Might Impact Your Daily Life - Step Four

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Knowing you are not alone,knowing that feeling a deep loss after abortion is normal and knowing that grief after abortion is greatly misunderstood by those who haven’t walked the journey, are important pieces in reaching a place of closure after your voluntary pregnancy termination.   Processing points of grief in one’s life are important ... Read more

Understanding Disenfranchised Grief and Abortion - Step Three

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Voluntary pregnancy termination or abortion is such an isolating event that it is hard to find our way in the processing.  If you are harboring an abortion secret, I hope you will have the courage to move out of  the safe place of denial of the grief you may feel, to a place of peace and hope. I have personally  walked the “abortion ... Read more

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