Boyfriends/husbands often don't understand why their partners don't show more relief afterwards.
"It's over, it's done, now let's get on with our lives. We won't ever talk about this again!" Well, this was my boyfriends' response to my abortion. Guess what we never did talk about it again.
I would catch myself crying at odd times. He would roll his eyes and be so frustrated. "C'mon you're not thinking about that again are you?"
Obviously I am painting a very bad picture about a person who isn't here to defend himself. However, I've worked with many married couples who have endured wedded bliss for decades and who have still not talked about their decision.
Underneath that "not talking" is an incredible amount of anger, typically, for the woman. Not talking is the exact reason that things lie smoldering for so many years.
Here are some tips for couples if this is you:
1) DO TALK! Talking is always good in any relationship. Giving a person the chance to share on an intimate level what they are feeling can never hurt...always helps. Not talking means an important event in the lives of your relationship didn't happen. This is simiply not true!
2) DO GIVE YOURSELVES SOME TIME to process the whole decision and event. Wanting to jump ahead too fast can be overwhelming.
3) GIVE YOUR BODY TIME TO re-adjust. When we are pregnant the hormones rage through our body at mach-one speed. Once there isn't a pregnancy those hormonal levels take awhile to settle back down. So if your boyfriend is accusing you of being hormonal...hello! Your ARE hormonal and for good reason.
4). RE-CONSIDER. If your boyfriend isn't treatly you kindly and being supportive and understanding...hate to say, but you might think about how many times in the future he will be there for you when you need him.