After An Abortion: Emotional Roller Coaster


roller coaster
After an abortion, it's normal to be relieved and sad, all at the same time.

Some women are surprised after an abortion that they have waves of crying spells, depression and sadness. This can last several weeks, months or even years. It is normal to grieve after an abortion, but the strange combination of relief and sadness can be very confusing. Understanding Stress & How To Manage It

Abortion grief is called disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is grief experienced by an individual that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publically observed. The loss experienced is real, but survivors are not accorded the "right to grieve" by anyone around them. An individual may have an intense and multifaceted reaction to a loss, yet those around him are completely ignorant or invalidating about the sadness that person may feel.


Society at large simply is not comfortable with grief and for the most part completely ignores many instances of grief, especially disenfranchised grief. Dating After Divorce: How Soon Is Too Soon?

The experience of loss associated with abortion is real, but survivors are not afforded the "right to grieve" by anyone around them.  Often women feel isolated and alone in their sadness.

What can they do?  Find a safe place to talk. 

There are organizations that are familiar with this type of grief who can refer you to professionals that understand and validate your sadness.  Remember, the internet is our friend. Searh for "help after abortion" or "sad after abortion" and you should be able to find some of these compassionate people who understand the wide range of emotions you are going through right now.

Disenfranchised grief is miserable and it is important to find a caring person or organization that will understand and validate your pain. The Monogamy Myth: Nothing Lasts Forever

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson


Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

The Painful And Surprising Secret Many Couples With Children Keep


For couples dealing with infertility or pregnancy loss, the news of an unexpected pregnancy can be thrilling. But when handling an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy, that news can be downright devastating to couples who already have their family established with two, three or more kids if the wife, husband (or both) feel entirely against having ... Read more

Early Age Abortion? Growing Up Doesn't Mean Getting Over It


The tears were flowing for this middle-aged woman with the perfect life. "I never realized how much pain and grief I was feeling over my abortion when I was 14 years old. I guess I just blocked things out and never looked back." I am amazed at women in their late 40's, 50's and even sixties experiencing the need to re-visit a time in their ... Read more

"I Had No Clue I'd Be This Sad," Part 2


Last week I talked with a 20-something woman about the grief she was feeling after her voluntary pregnancy termination. In her quest to find relief for her situation, she never dreamed she would be struck with an overwhelming sadness that she couldn't shake. Only a little less shocking than the news of the pregnancy (she was on birth control pills) was ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular