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After An Abortion: Emotional Roller Coaster

By . Posted on .

roller coaster
After an abortion, it's normal to be relieved and sad, all at the same time.

Some women are surprised after an abortion that they have waves of crying spells, depression and sadness. This can last several weeks, months or even years. It is normal to grieve after an abortion, but the strange combination of relief and sadness can be very confusing. Understanding Stress & How To Manage It

Abortion grief is called disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is grief experienced by an individual that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publically observed. The loss experienced is real, but survivors are not accorded the "right to grieve" by anyone around them. An individual may have an intense and multifaceted reaction to a loss, yet those around him are completely ignorant or invalidating about the sadness that person may feel.

More from YourTango: How To Survive Mother's Day If You Feel Post-Abortion Grief

Society at large simply is not comfortable with grief and for the most part completely ignores many instances of grief, especially disenfranchised grief. Dating After Divorce: How Soon Is Too Soon?

The experience of loss associated with abortion is real, but survivors are not afforded the "right to grieve" by anyone around them.  Often women feel isolated and alone in their sadness.

What can they do?  Find a safe place to talk. 

More from YourTango: Abortion Aftercare: An Idea Whose Time Has Come

There are organizations that are familiar with this type of grief who can refer you to professionals that understand and validate your sadness.  Remember, the internet is our friend. Searh for "help after abortion" or "sad after abortion" and you should be able to find some of these compassionate people who understand the wide range of emotions you are going through right now.

Disenfranchised grief is miserable and it is important to find a caring person or organization that will understand and validate your pain. The Monogamy Myth: Nothing Lasts Forever

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson

Author

Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

www.missingpieces.org

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

How To Survive Mother's Day If You Feel Post-Abortion Grief

By

Mother's Day for women who have had a voluntary pregnancy termination, or abortion, can be just as unhappy as Valentine's Day for people in bad relationships. On a day that motherhood is embraced and celebrated, many women experience sadness over their choice and are reminded of "what might have been." And there's no escaping ... Read more

Abortion Aftercare: An Idea Whose Time Has Come

By

Women who have had abortions may not feel entitled to grieve the loss of their unborn children. After all, they rationalize, you shouldn't be permitted to grieve over a loss you have chosen to create. And so, putting the missing pieces together can be confusing and overwhelming for them. Now, as a trained professional, I know grief is a necessary part ... Read more

Abortion After-Care: Why Not?

By

When the word “abortion” appears in news stories, whether it is from a position of advocating for or against, millions of women avoid that news story all together.  The most recent news story “Arkansas 12-Week Abortion Ban Becomes Law” is an example of how abortion in the news, while promoting the political information, causes ... Read more

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