After An Abortion: Will I Be A Bad Mother Now That I'm Pregnant?


pregnant belly
It is not always as easy as it may seem to go into a pregnancy after an abortion. It can be fearful.

Will I be a bad mother now that I’ve had an abortion?

Women who have voluntarily terminated a pregnancy struggle with becoming a mother for the first time, if it was the first pregnancy that was aborted. Because it is not culturally accepted to talk about or grieve a pregnancy loss due to abortion, there can be a lot of guilt, sadness and mixed emotions for women with an abortion history.

More from YourTango: Staying Safe Processing Grief After Abortion - Step Five

While it may seem easy to be pregnant “when the time comes” it is not always as easy as it may seem to go into a pregnancy after an abortion. Fear about being pregnant for the first time after an abortion can actually (my personal opinion) cause women to have a second abortion.

Some typical questions women might have who are pregnant after an abortion are:

1). Will I be a bad mother?

It is a natural reaction to think that since you failed the first “motherhood test” that this you are now unable to do the mothering thing at all. This is simply not true! Motherhood is something that comes naturally and easy. While all of us have to learn a lot about mothering, the natural instincts do kick in and we can take up the job with no problem. Just because you chose “vpt” does NOT mean you will be a bad mother now that you are pregnant.

More from YourTango: How VPT Grief Might Impact Your Daily Life - Step Four

2). Will God punish me now that I am keeping this pregnancy?

This is a very typical and common question. First of all, I don’t believe God is not in the business of punishing. He loves your baby more than you do and to punish you by doing something bad to the baby is simply not the way He operates! He sends consequences our way, but He never punishes us, ever.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Trudy Johnson


Trudy M. Johnson, M.A., LMFT, CSPII

Helping women process grief after voluntary pregnancy termination without fear.

Bringing abortion after-care into the 21st century by educating professionals.

Location: Buena Vista, CO
Credentials: LMFT, MA, Non-Profit
Specialties: Abortion Issues
Other Articles/News by Trudy Johnson:

Staying Safe Processing Grief After Abortion - Step Five


Staying safe in the process of working through grief after abortion can be very difficult.  Safety is very important though.  Everyone grieves differently.  Anne Morrow Lindbergh (who lost a child to kidnapping) once said, “Grief can’t be shared.  Everyone shares it alone, his own burden, his own way.”  Know that other ... Read more

How VPT Grief Might Impact Your Daily Life - Step Four


Knowing you are not alone,knowing that feeling a deep loss after abortion is normal and knowing that grief after abortion is greatly misunderstood by those who haven’t walked the journey, are important pieces in reaching a place of closure after your voluntary pregnancy termination.   Processing points of grief in one’s life are important ... Read more

Understanding Disenfranchised Grief and Abortion - Step Three


Voluntary pregnancy termination or abortion is such an isolating event that it is hard to find our way in the processing.  If you are harboring an abortion secret, I hope you will have the courage to move out of  the safe place of denial of the grief you may feel, to a place of peace and hope. I have personally  walked the “abortion ... Read more

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