Tristan Coopersmith, Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith - Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, Counselor/Therapist, Dating Coach, Divorce Recovery Coach, Marriage/Couples Counselor, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter - Hermosa Beach, CA
Expertise

Marriage and Family Therapist



Location
2200 Pacific Coast Highway
Hermosa Beach, CA
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Contact Information

Email me
Call Me 310 6148053
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Articles

For the Love of Dating

 In honor of Earth Day, and with Spring officially having sprung, it is the time of year where daters ought to be thinking about sprinkling their dating seeds. Many of you have been emailing me about recent breakups (tis the season, if you’ve been paying attention to the entertainment news wire) or lousy ...

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14 Worst Reasons To Get Married

Forget about love being in the air, weddings are in the air! Which for me, means a LOT of talk among my beautiful clients about wanting to get married. And I get it. As a newlywed myself, being married is dreamy… but only if you marry the right guy for the right reasons. After all, we all know at least one ...

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Beating the Wedding Bell Blues

 Wedding season is right around the corner… you can smell it with the flowers in bloom, hear it with the chirping birds returning home, see it with the bridal bitches hitting the gym extra hard (I saw one ...

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Subconscious Sexiness

 Leaving Starbucks early this morning, my hands were overflowing so I used my hip, raising my toes a bit, to open the door. Not thinking twice about the effort, a cute guy gave me that look – that impressed, wanna see what else I could do with my hips look, and said, “Nice move.” Of ...

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"The Rules" Rethought

 I get asked frequently if I subscribe to or prescribe traditional dating “rules” – you know things like wait x number of days to call a guy back, don’t sleep with a man before x number of dates, never be the first to say “I love you,” and so on and so on. Well the simple ...

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MY RECENT COMMENTS

Success Stories

Young divorcee finds new love

Steph married her high school sweetheart (yeh, it still happens). They went to different colleges but remained faithful and married right after graduation. Low and behold it didn't work out. They found each other growing into very different people that although adored each other's 9th grade sensibilities weren't on the same page as adults. So Steph found herself at 27 dating for the first time.

 

Steph had to learn dating 101. She literally had no idea how to date because she never had. She needed the basics from how to dress for dates (so I did a complete wardrobe analysis for her) to how to flirt (so we went to bars and I showed her) to the dos/dont's of first date conversation (so we role played) and beyond to every topic you can imagine (when/how to follow up, managing expectations, dealing with sex, rejection, analyzing her experiences and so on).

 

Eventually Steph learned to love her single life and learned that her now ex-husband was a far cry from the type of man she wanted/needed in her life. She is engaged now to an awesome guy planning to get married in the summer!

The serial monogamist turned healthy dater

Lisa a late 20-something, ivy league MBA'er with a career that is skyrocketing and luxurious locks celebs pay thousands of dollars per year to have, not to mention has a host of winning friends, an adorable apartment and a loving family. Getting guys to commit to her, also not a problem. From the outside looking in, life is easy breezy for Lisa. Her problem though is that she stays in relationships that are no good for her months and even years after her radar detector goes off signaling that her Mr. Right is actually Mr. Wrong. With the last one her ring finger was sparkling with a big rock and she had already decided on wedding invites when that one finally fell to pieces.

 

That's when I came into the picture. Together, Lisa and I laughed (and occasionally she cried) our through her relationships - 5 long term boyfriends with not longer than a week break in between. We dissected each one, talking about the highs and the lows because Lisa never gave herself the respect to look in the rear-view mirror of love and assess the learnings from each of experiences... which essentially made her feel that they were all a big waste of time and that she was a failure at love.

 

Lisa began to construct a list - a list of wants and needs from a man. Her non-negotiables... what was going to work for her in her co-piloted life and what wouldn't, based on her experiences. And then Lisa committed for the first time in her adult life to non-committment. To just dating for awhile - to see how she felt without having to be in what she uncovered were all codependent relationships.

 

She loved it! She thrived in the dating playground. I taught Lisa for the first time actually how to date in a healthy way and in the process how to value her own needs. She met wonderful men, had adventurous experiences, learned a ton about herself, and made some fabulous friends along the way.

 

After a year of intentional dating, Lisa is now exclusively seeing someone that I totally approve of - so far he meets all of her criteria... and I am so proud of and happy for her.

 

 

Exhausted looking for love

Joanna was simply burned out from dating. She felt like she had dated enough and she should have found "him" by now... so "Where was he?" She always thought. Well Joanna recycled her life habits the way commuters recycle their routes to work - same ol, same ol. So it is no wonder that she was getting the same unsatisfying results.

 

Let me show you a little bit closer: Joanna's daily routine typically consisted of going to work, grabbing drinks with friends at their neighborhood bar or going to the gym and closing out the night with a tabloid mag or some must-see TV. Her weekends usually included a little overtime at work, dinner and a movie with friends and another visit to the neighborhood bar. Perhaps a visit to see mom and dad on the other side of town too.

 

First I reprogrammed Joanna's dating attitude to help reignite her excitement for the possibility of falling in like and in love. I learned about her dating past and why her attitude was negative so that I could course-correct it. We turned her previous experiences into something more positive so that didn't feel defeated by them, but rather empowered.

 

Then I introduced Joanna to the Algebra of Dating - the idea that to get different results you have to change a variable in your equation. Jointly we put together a plan for Joanna to more or less go get more of a life so that she would instantly expand her dating marketplace. She joined a yoga class, adopted a dog and explored new bars. She also committed to going out at least 3 times a week.

 

I also helped Joanna build an online dating existence on two different sites and managed the process with her.

 

Joanna is now fruitfully dating. Her energy for it is re-engaged and she is now the one organizing girl's night out events with her friends!

 

Exhausted looking for love

 Joanna was simply burned out from dating. She felt like she had dated enough and she should have found "him" by now... so "Where was he?" She always thought. Well Joanna recycled her life habits the way commuters recycle their routes to work - same ol, same ol. So it is no wonder that she was getting the same unsatisfying results.

 

Let me show you a little bit closer: Joanna's daily routine typically consisted of going to work, grabbing drinks with friends at their neighborhood bar or going to the gym and closing out the night with a tabloid mag or some must-see TV. Her weekends usually included a little overtime at work, dinner and a movie with friends and another visit to the neighborhood bar. Perhaps a visit to see mom and dad on the other side of town too.

 

First I reprogrammed Joanna's dating attitude to help reignite her excitement for the possibility of falling in like and in love. I learned about her dating past and why her attitude was negative so that I could course-correct it. We turned her previous experiences into something more positive so that didn't feel defeated by them, but rather empowered.

 

Then I introduced Joanna to the Algebra of Dating - the idea that to get different results you have to change a variable in your equation. Jointly we put together a plan for Joanna to more or less go get more of a life so that she would instantly expand her dating marketplace. She joined a yoga class, adopted a dog and explored new bars. She also committed to going out at least 3 times a week.

 

I also helped Joanna build an online dating existence on two different sites and managed the process with her.

 

Joanna is now fruitfully dating. Her energy for it is re-engaged and she is now the one organizing girl's night out events with her friends!

 

CredentialsBA, MA, MFTI
Time in Practice3-5 years
I practice inMy state/province only
Additional ExpertiseAuthor
Counselor/Therapist
Dating Coach
Divorce Recovery Coach
Marriage/Couples Counselor
Relationship Coach
Speaker/Presenter
I offer my servicesAt my office
Via Skype
I am fluent inEnglish
Licence informationExpiration 12/31/14
Number psy23667
Latest Expert Videos
My Store

Menu Dating: Taste-Test Your Way to the Main Course

Order up…a delicious new dating attitude!Whether you’re convinced ...

USD $16.19

Buy online

CredentialsBA, MA, MFTI
Time in Practice3-5 years
I practice inMy state/province only
Additional ExpertiseAuthor
Counselor/Therapist
Dating Coach
Divorce Recovery Coach
Marriage/Couples Counselor
Relationship Coach
Speaker/Presenter
I offer my servicesAt my office
Via Skype
I am fluent inEnglish
Licence informationExpiration 12/31/14
Number psy23667
Latest Expert Videos
My Store

Menu Dating: Taste-Test Your Way to the Main Course

Order up…a delicious new dating attitude!Whether you’re convinced ...

USD $16.19

Buy online