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• Hi there! What an amazing story! Here's the thing... healthy, rich, gorgeously sustainable love doesn't happen on a timeline, it happens on an experience line. In your post you identified some powerful things. You identified that you've been in a hurtful relationship in the past and you do NOT want a repeat of that. You also identified that you want children so you must know how important a strong, capable life co-partner will be. You also identified how important your career is to you. Having said all of that, along with the fact that you and this dreamy guy have discussed that if you were to get married it would be down the line, there is no rush to make a decision. Be sure that you are completely healed of your past marriage - that you have resolved its pain and learned all you can from it. Be sure that you know what you want and need from a new and hopefully final future marriage/co-parent. Don't stress yourself over any sort of timeline - yours, his, family's society, etc. There is no magic number of months/years to be with someone or "right" age to tie the knot... it is about truly being ready... and NO ONE can decide that but you. Hope this helps... feel free to email me at tristan@tristancoopersmith.com for more! xo SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Am I being too paranoic?

• You are really looking at two distinct issues here: 1) lack of communication via calling/texting and 2) the I love you scenario, so let's examine them separately. You chose a man who is ambitious, who took on a massive undertaking, the BAR. It requires laser focus to pass it and it appears that he is giving it its just attention, but at the same time affording you attention when the day is done, by calling you in the evenings. Although you would like to be paid attention to during the day, the good news is that he isn't changing his behavior from the beginning of your relationship until now as you stated in your post that he has never been a phone person.. and truthfully, most guys aren't. (see a video I did decoding a few man mysteries such as a variation of this one which explains their phonophobia - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjiK_65Z_0g). The best thing you can do is be grateful for the time you do get on the phone with him and keep our conversations short and sweet. Feel free to send him an encouraging text or two throughout the day but don't pressure him to text back... find other ways to fill your voids, once you identify them. Focus mostly on the fact that he hasn't changed his behavior and is still giving you daily priority in his stressful life. Secondly, in regards to the "i love you" scenario, your best bet is to wipe the slate clean of that moment. Whether he truly doesn't recall it because he was intoxicated or he wants to forget it since you didn't reciprocate, you can't force him to go there again, right? Instead, concentrate on what you do have, which is a guy who is talking about the future and that wouldn't happen if he didn't feel strongly positively about you. Most importantly though, spend some time honestly thinking about your true feelings about him. How do you feel? What do you want? Shift the "yous" to "I's" to begin owning more of your feelings/part in this relationship. Hope this helps! Feel free to email me at tristan@tristancoopersmith.com for more! xo SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: phone calls

That's very true Kristin. Relationships require nurturing which requires time! When you find someone worth your while, you MAKE the time for them though. I'm hoping that she diversifies her dating playground a bit in 2011, perhaps beyond models/athletes/celebs to see what it is like to date someone who has time for her!
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Lisa.... you give the best advice ever.... and it is so good because you clearly rock it yourself! Thanks for being so candid with your own experiences!
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Lucky hubby!
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Such a fabulous point, that when you are "gettin it", you become more attractive - you literally glow for all of these reasons ! Thank you for contributing such a worthwhile comment!
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Thanks for the kind feedback Chrystal! And you are so right... endorphins alone ARE enough to go for that "O" a day... doctors have been giving out the wrong advice for centuries! Apples schmapples! LOL
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