Take it from men... they actually DO know a little something about dating: 7 love lessons

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It’s hard to admit, but in some ways men are smarter about dating than women are. Now I’m not suggesting that you morph into a man to catch a man. Hello?! Do you really think a guy wants to date a girl who is just like the belching buddy he swaps fantasy football tips with? Definitely not. However, guys can have an overall healthier approach to dating and therefore spend far less, OK, zero time stressing over it. Trust me, you won’t find guys calling their friends desperate to have their nerves calmed moments before a date, nor will you find them overanalyzing when to call or not to call a girl. For better or for worse, guys just don’t care as much, and in turn, their seemingly lackadaisical attitude serves them quite well. Below’s, your "guyde" to the male dating mind. Here’s to getting in the game with the boys!

1.GUYS DON'T WALLOW IN PITY OVER REJECTION.
You’d be hard-pressed to find a guy buried in a pint of Haagen-Dazs after a girl doesn’t call when she said she would. And you also won’t hear him making absurd statements like, “I’ll never find love!” upon being rejected by a pretty girl at the bar. In fact, guys do the opposite. When they strike out, they step right back up to the plate to prove to themselves (and sometimes the rejecting girl, too) that they’ve got game. And that is exactly what you should do. What’s the worst that could happen? You spend one dinner with a jerk or get turned down by a guy you barely know? So what?! You put yourself out there— you increased your odds, you learned something— and that is the whole point of dating. As it has been said, the greatest failure one can have is not trying at all.

2. GUYS ALWAYS TAKE APPLICATIONS.
They always have an open-for-business sign hanging up indicating they are ready and rearing to date unlike many women who say things like, “I’m not ready to date.” Think of it logically: if you are not consciously and actively taking applications from potential men, how can you score any? The good news is that, yes, guys actually walk up and knock on your door, so to speak. It’s not like guys are in hiding, playing hard to get. They are everywhere, dying to date to you. They nearly always say, “Yes!” and so should you. After all, a closed business will ultimately be a failing business.

3. GUYS ROCK A LAIDBACK, POSITIVE ATTITUDE.
They approach dating with a positive, open, “I’ve got nothing to lose” mindset. They are confident in who they are (at least the date- worthy ones are) and are just out to have a good time. So take dating in stride and lighten up a little! It’s just an introduction, a phone call, a date; it’s not a life commitment! By simply shifting your attitude, letting go of anything negative that may have happened in the past and approaching your new dating life with a smile, you will see a remarkable difference in how many guys want to date you and in how much more fun your dates become.

4. GUYS MAINTAIN REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
It’s the second course of your first date. You’re looking into the eyes of your date and everything about his is A+ perfect. You start thinking to yourself, “Hmmm, he’d make a great kids soccer coach, wouldn’t he?” The waiter refills your wine glass as you ponder if he might be available to be your date at your cousin’s wedding next month. Holy s*&t! You know what he is thinking at this point, Ms. Fast-Forward? He’s thinking about his ‘get you home and as close to naked as possible’ strategy. Don’t be crushed.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi
www.tristancoopersmith.com

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
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