New Year's Love-Olutions

By

New Year's Love-Olutions

I’ve never been a big champion of New Year’s resolutions. I don’t fancy the pressure of having to sit down with pen and paper in hand on the first day of the year, somewhere in between trying to kill my champagne headache and trying to remove some glitter nonsense off my eyelids, and reflecting on all the ways I turned left instead of right in the past year… and after that, coming up with a list of ways to rectify it all. I prefer instead the idea of deciding that I have the power to become my best self on any day of any week of any month throughout the year. For me, my growth comes in small steps made every day – not in leap attempts.

However, I am ALL about personal evolution – finding realistic solutions to what hasn’t been working in my life – but the operative word here is realistic. Goal setting can’t be pressure filled, or it just doesn’t work. It pains me to watch people go big with all of the right intentions in January only to feel like failures in February, not because they have failed, but because they set unrealistic expectations at the onset.

 

So, all that said, I came up with a few New Year’s resolutions of the dating sort for you to chew on, for now, or for later when the moment strikes you. And, so you know these ones aren’t miracle resolutions. They aren’t going to guarantee that you “find the one” because finding true love can never be penned, or even penciled in. As soon as you try to, you are automatically setting yourself up to settle. They aren’t going to encourage you to get in the best physical shape so you can attract the guy you’ve had your eye on, because dropping ten pounds of body fat won’t help you if you still choose men who make you feel insecure. Instead… THIS list of resolutions are dating pledges for you to grow on, that will help you have a healthier dating journey in 2011. No promises of fairytale love here, but I can guarantee that if you follow them, or at least the ones that speak to your heart most loudly, there is no way that you can fail… and you WILL undoubtedly feel gorgeous inside and out, proud of who you are becoming as an entity and seeker of healthy love. Consider these, dear hearts, your Love-Olutions!

1. I will alter my dating habits for the better. As you are reflecting over the past year, or perhaps the past decade, think about your dating habits on a micro and macro level. While it is natural to become creatures of habit, if your habits aren’t producing the results you would like, change something in your equation. After all, the choices we make become who we are and we simply cannot expect different results unless we create different habits.

 

2. I will remove excess weight from my dating closet. To move towards healthy love, you have to abandon unhealthy relationships, completely. Learning to let go of excess is a tool that will provide boundless freedom and point you in directions beyond your wildest imagination. Simply, staying stuck in the past in any way, is like putting up a big fat “NO” sign to your future. If you want to be free to move onwards and upwards… LET… GO… NOW!

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi
www.tristancoopersmith.com

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
Other Articles/News by Tristan Coopersmith:

How to Get Some HOT Single Girl Action this Valentine's Day!

By

Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. There I said it. And it isn’t just THE day that blows, it is all the days leading up to it. It is going to your local Target only to be bombarded with Valentine Day specials. It is the questioning of friends about what you will do on that night to avoid being a lonely heart. It is the Kay Jewelers ... Read more

3 Reasons You Must Stop Shopping for a Husband

By

There are scads of articles and books written promising a foolproof formula to finding a husband. Usually they include a step by step guide with a guarantee of success in x number of days. If you are a reader of these, time to toss them and whatever manipulation they have down to your head and heart and it is time to get real! The thing is, love takes time ... Read more

Are You Willing to Work For Love?

By

I’m a big believer in universal energy. I believe that everything in the universe is on loan to us to leverage as we need. I believe that we are born to love and born to be loved. I believe that it is EVERYONE’S divine right to experience rich, gorgeous, healthy, sustainable love. But what I don’t believe is that all you need to do is sit ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular