Why have good sex when you can have GRAT sex? Great sex is all about being completely free – free to explore, free to experiment, free to let go in complete ecstasy. To do so, you’ve get to get confident! To learn how to increase your confidence and unleash the sexual goddess buried within you into your bedroom, car, neighborhood park, etc, following these tips to let loose:
1. Learn to love your booty and all the rest of you too.
Spend time getting to know your curves. Try standing in front of a full length mirror and just see yourself. Admire what your man sees when he lustfully looks at you. Focus on what you do like, not what you don’t. He doesn’t care if you have cellulite on your thighs or you are a month overdo on a wax, so neither should you. If you expend your energy concentrating on your “flaws” you won’t be focused on the good stuff. Fall in love with yourself so you can flaunt your beautiful body with confidence.
2. It’s all in the lighting.
We all look better in dim lighting so prepare your environment accordingly. Light some candles, throw a scarf over a bedside lamp, take advantage of the moonlight. Soft lighting will lowlight the parts of you that you don’t love, leaving you to focus on flaunting the parts that you do.
3. Practice your moves.
Remember when you made out with your pillow before your first kiss, just for practice? Ok maybe that was just us, but it is a good idea – not because it guarantees you will ace your moves when you get in the game, but because it will give you more confidence when you get up to bat.
4. Think about sex. At least twice a day, consciously think about sex. Imagine what you would do to your partner if he was around at that very moment, say, in your meeting. Send him a naughty text message. Go browsing for sexy lingerie online. Use this exercise to keep sex on your brain as a form of personal foreplay.
5. Visualize fantasies. According to sex guru and host of radio show Sex with Emily, Emily Morse, says reading sexy novels, daring to watch pornography – all prepare your mind and body for sex. She says, “The brain is a woman’s largest sex organ and using it to visualize and practice how you want it to all go down when it’s going down will certainly boost confidence.”
6. Create an affirmation. Develop a mantra that you repeat just before or during sex that injects your confidence with a boost. When your nerves start to rattle or the “good girl” in you takes over whispering in your ear, “you can’t do that,” use your affirmation to jolt you into sex goddess mode.
7. Get inspired. Ms. Morse also recommends reading up on sex. Two books she suggests: The Joy of Sex and The Guide to Getting it On. Emily warns, “Don’t get overwhelmed by the volume of choices or complicated options. Start slowly and simply by picking one tip and do it the next time you have sex. Remember that you are not going for award winning moves here – just easy tricks to expand your repertoire and build your self-confidence.”
8. Wear a wig.
Perhaps your man has mentioned a time or three how much he’d love to see you dressed up as a naughty nurse or a bad cop but the idea of it is just too much to bare. Instead start with a wig. Admit it - you’ve always wanted to know what you’ve looked like as a blonde bombshell or a red-headed seductress – now is your chance. Slipping on a wig allows you the freedom to step outside of yourself and be someone else.
9. Wear a blindfold. Blocking off your eyesight serves two purposes: 1) shutting down one sense, heightens the others, and 2) you can get lost in an identity created in your mind. Chanel your sex hero – Angelina Jolie, Samantha Jones, Jenna Jameson – for inspiration and let your body do the rest of the work.
10. Think to yourself, “Why not?”
When you reach a mental block, and believe us, it is always mental because your body was made to experience sexual pleasure, think to yourself, “What do I have to lose?” Even if you try a complex maneuver and pull a hamstring, your man will be appreciative of your attempt to let loose.