How to Change Your Man


8) Do not nag, beg or give ultimatums to get what you want… if needed, just restate what you did before. Sometimes men need a double dose of truth to grasp it. Be sure to stay calm, compassionate and vulnerable.

9) From then on when he compliments you, make a conscious effort to reward him by simply thanking him for the compliment and letting him know how good it makes you feel, or taking notice when he compliments others. This is your way of encouraging and supporting his change. Eventually his new behavior will become involuntary but at first it is a little like training a dog.


10) And remember change is about evolution… it is not an overnight process. Be patient and allow for fumbles.


Healthy relationships involve championing one another’s growth. Moments like these are gorgeous opportunities to test the waters of your ability to support each other. Are you able to ask for what you need? Is he able to appreciate your need and work to give it to you? Are you willing to work with him to be that support system he needs to evolve into a better man? And when the script is flipped, will you be there for him in this same way?


Live and love largely,

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
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