50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

BreakUP to WakeUP

By

BreakUP to WakeUP

It is no secret – breakups suck. Now that we got that out of the way… let’s discuss how breakups can also be the greatest bitchslap in the world of relationship reality. Relationships, particularly unhealthy ones, can keep us in a delusional state. They can make us believe things about our partner, things about ourselves and things about future that simply ARE NOT TRUE. Once the fantasy is shattered to pieces, we have no choice but to face and to accept the truth, as painful as it may be. But as it is said… the truth shall set you free.

I’ve seen it a zillion times before through my own breakups, my friends’ breakups and in my practice. I’ve seen fantasy flushed and reality emerge. And sure, when the fantasy dies, hearts are beaten, bruised and broken which is to be expected, healthy in fact… but the upside, the gorgeously, fabulous, brilliantly awesome upside, is that when fantasy dies, reality can be born, which enables us to be free, free to truly live, free to truly love… to love in a healthy space. Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it to you. Here are one, two, three, four, five pretty damn helpful universal breakup reality checks:

More from YourTango: How to Get Some HOT Single Girl Action this Valentine's Day!

#1: Your man wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t even close! He also wasn’t perfect for you. You deserve someone who is.

#2: Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. You can self-entertain in more ways than one

#3: Your friends are the most amazingly supportive people on the planet. Period.

#4: This was a chapter in your life, not the whole book.

#5: You WILL get over this and actually become even more rockin’ because of it. Now these are just a handful of the ones that apply to all breakups. You can certainly come up with your own reality checks specific to your current or most recent breakup (which I recommend that you do) – those awakenings, those “aha” moments that bring you clarity, that can help you to see the light and move onwards and upwards.

More from YourTango: 3 Reasons You Must Stop Shopping for a Husband

The sooner you can dismiss fantasy and embrace reality, the sooner you can move towards healthy new beginnings. Live and love largely, with open eyes and an open heart, Tristan

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi
www.tristancoopersmith.com

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
Other Articles/News by Tristan Coopersmith:

How to Get Some HOT Single Girl Action this Valentine's Day!

By

Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. There I said it. And it isn’t just THE day that blows, it is all the days leading up to it. It is going to your local Target only to be bombarded with Valentine Day specials. It is the questioning of friends about what you will do on that night to avoid being a lonely heart. It is the Kay Jewelers ... Read more

3 Reasons You Must Stop Shopping for a Husband

By

There are scads of articles and books written promising a foolproof formula to finding a husband. Usually they include a step by step guide with a guarantee of success in x number of days. If you are a reader of these, time to toss them and whatever manipulation they have down to your head and heart and it is time to get real! The thing is, love takes time ... Read more

Are You Willing to Work For Love?

By

I’m a big believer in universal energy. I believe that everything in the universe is on loan to us to leverage as we need. I believe that we are born to love and born to be loved. I believe that it is EVERYONE’S divine right to experience rich, gorgeous, healthy, sustainable love. But what I don’t believe is that all you need to do is sit ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cuffs

Emotional Vampires: Skills for Dealing with the Narcissist

Expert, Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book Emotional Vampires

Smooches

One-liners Guaranteed to Turn Up the Heat

Want some off the hook sex tonight? Use words as foreplay!

Make A Move

Forgiveness : The Most Important "F-Word".

Forgive so that the past no longer holds you back. It is time to move forward.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS