According to Him: What Makes A Great Girlfriend?


I hit the streets to find out straight from the mouths of men, what makes a great girlfriend. Is it nightly nookie, legs for miles, free time with the guys or just a BFF to call their own? Well, interestingly form coast to coast, 20-something to 40-something, guys pretty much all want the same things, and truth be told, their formula is a lot less complex than ours tend to be. Follow the recipe below to become a keeper in the eyes and heart of men.

A great girlfriend is a woman who:


1. ENCOURAGES FREEDOM. “All of my relationships have started to sour when my girlfriends began suffocating and trying to control me. As they attempted to police my every action and rob me of my freedom, we became adversaries.” – James, NY, 25

2. TRUSTS HER MAN. “If I catch a girl searching my phone or she starts suspiciously questioning me, it is over. A great girlfriend is secure in herself, and trusts me. If you put your faith in me, your feelings on the line and just trust me, the last thing I want to do is disappoint you.” – Shay, San Francisco, 35

3. HAS SIMILAR INTERESTS. “I need to have the same idea of what fun is as my girlfriend does. For example, I am a speed tourist – I can’t last with someone who would take 7 hours at the Vatican – 2 hours is plenty; I want to see the waterfall, not hike in it for hours, and so on. We need to like the same kind of restaurants, parties, etc. Also, be willing to try “my” things because I will be willing to try yours.” – Mark, Seattle, 43

4. HAS A COMPATIBLE SEX DRIVE. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want sex as much as me, or more than me. We definitely need to be on the same page in bed.” – Gregory, Houston, 31

5. HAS A LIFE OF HER OWN. “The biggest thing that separates a good girlfriend from an OK one is someone who has a life of their own. If the relationship is a girl’s primary focus, invariably she finds things missing in it whereas if it’s a supportive compliment to the rest of her life’s goals and interests, the little things are no big deal.” – Matt, Los Angeles, 27

6. KNOWS WHEN TO ZIP IT. “Good girlfriends don’t nag or hassle you or argue all the time. When you complain all the time to me, I stop listening and start thinking about something else, so you are really just wasting your time.” – T, Grand Rapids, 38

7. LIKES TO COOK. “I don’t need an Iron Chef but a woman who can throw down a respectable meal or two is really important. Not only is it nice to be cooked for every once in awhile, but this can be an indicator that she is mom material.” – Michael, Providence, 34

8. IS ATTENTIVE BUT NOT CLINGY IN PUBLIC. “I’m all for a little kissing and cuddling when out, but save the show for the bedroom. If a girl needs to be attached to me 100% of the time when we are out that shows me that she has to prove to herself and others our status which is a real turnoff.” – Jason, Montreal, 33

9. GOSSIPS WITH HER GIRLFRIENDS. “I want to be my girlfriend’s boyfriend, not her girlfriend. I can’t stand it when a girl blabs on and on about her friends’ drama or even worse celebrity gossip.” – David, Baltimore, 28

10. IS A POSITIVE PERSON. “Just be happy. Be someone I look forward to seeing because of your light, positive energy – project sunshine. ” – Jandre, Washington, DC, 35

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
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