6 looks that NEVER look good!

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Ok, so maybe the female cast of Jersey Shore can pull off these looks, but ladies with class, ladies looking for the men I hear everyday they want – respectable men who treat them with respect, and relationships that are healthy, happy and sustainable, need to bury these traits, deep, NOW!

1. Ms. Desperado (i.e. desperate chic): Desperation is really a deep-seated need to have one’s ego constantly stroked, to feel full in one or more ways where there is significant lack. Desperados do unwise things in the short-term to satiate the pain of that void – almost like taking a drug to get high and these actions can have really bad long-term effects (like marrying some random foreigner in Vegas who needs a Green Card, just to be married by 30). Pinpoint that area of lack and there is no longer a need to feel desperate.

Signs: cannot NOT be in a relationship, has strict life/love timelines – will settle to meet them, bends standards to satisfy immediate needs, loses identity when in a relationship, needs validation that things are “ok” all the time, impulsivity

2. Potty Mouth (i.e. cursing chic): It may sound super Mad Men era but women who sound like they could shoot the sh&t with the best of truckers also are hard to picture as proper baby mama’s. The bottom line is that sure sometimes the only word that will do is the ‘F’ one but most of the time, educated, tasteful, creative women can come up with something a bit more expressive than a string of expletives to form their opinions. If not, unmanageable anger may be an underlying cause.

Signs: expletives in lieu of real expression all the f*&king time!

3. The Chug-A-Lug (i.e. drunk chic): Sure the girl who knows how to have a good time certainly can be a good time but overdo it and you beg the question of what you will be like when the sun comes up… head hanging in a toilet with a shoe missing. Not exactly such a pretty party. Women who overdo it in the drinking department typically have little confidence in themselves sans alcohol when what she really needs to do is get to know who she is underneath her party hat.

Signs: spikes her slurpees, has been given a monogrammed flask as a gift, is the go-to-girl for ordering shots, drinks after she pukes, always armed with mints, breath spray and gum (just in case), has major memory deficits but says that’s just a part of a good night out!

4. Green with Envy (i.e. jealous chic): One eye on your guy and one eye on all other women in the bar who might have her eyes on your man? Secretly scanning through his phone bill for unknown numbers? Sound familiar? Jealousy is usually a mind game being played with yourself. If you are the jealous type, deal with facts, not the fiction that you create in your mind that is probably a manifestation of carried-over, unresolved issues of relationship’s past.

Signs: constantly questioning boyfriend’s normal activities, checking phone/email, forbidding him to have female contact, putting down other women, insistently taggin along on “guy’s night”, generally suspicious and/or accusatory

5. The Saran Wrap Girlfriend (i.e. clingy chic): I get it, you meet a new guy and sometimes the warm fuzzies take over and all you think of is him… but take it too far and it becomes an obsession!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi
www.tristancoopersmith.com

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
Other Articles/News by Tristan Coopersmith:

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