Can you remember the things that you used to dream about as a child? Can you close your eyes and visualize the things you spent your childhood thinking about, exploring and daydreaming of? I can! When I close my eyes I vividly see me as a young girl in my bedroom listening to the Jackson 5 on my grandmother’s old stereo and dreaming about being Randy Jackson’s wife the architect/interior designer (Michael Jackson's little brother...Not American Idols Randy Jackson!)
I remember having these dreams and actually visualizing becoming an architect, of building beautiful structures, of designing stylish and classy rooms. I would spend hours in my room…focused on me and what I would do, and how I would do it. It was a time when my dream was validated simply because I had the paper and the vision. The paper represented the foundations and the vision full and robust without the influence or constructs of the real world. At that time I didn’t know that an architect needed to be good at math, or measuring feet and inches. Honestly I didn’t know what it took to be an architect. I just knew I enjoyed preparing space and filling them with pretty pictures of furniture from my mother’s magazines!
I got re-acquainted with this dream recently while on a campus tour with my daughter at a local art school. I was so absorbed by the drawings and the colors and the dreams of the young Tracey came flooding back to me. I was excited but I also felt a bit sad. What happened to my dream? I was saddened by the thoughts of what I missed. Could I have succeeded? Did I miss my calling? Could I have made beautiful things?!?! And what was worse was that for a moment I began to question everything that had happened in my life since that time!
That 9 year old Tracey had so much possibility and could have been anything she wanted to be – how do I compare, did I let her down? I was struck by those feelings and I had to take a step back and recognize that I didn’t re-experience these feelings in order to bash and undermine myself! Doing that served no purpose and distracted me from all the wonderful things I am doing today.
Today I know I traveled down that road to remind myself of something even more powerful! I experienced that space so that I could activate the big bold beautiful dreams that reside within me today! How powerful is that? Mighty powerful for me – that experience reminds me that I am charged with dreaming as big and as beautifully as I can imagine. The same way I channeled faith, happiness and will to dream as a 9 year old is the way I am suppose to dream today. No dream is too big!