50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

How Can Conflict Increase Self-Esteem


How Can Conflict Increase Self-Esteem
To enjoy your relationships with others, it is imperative that you learn the art of negotiation.

How can conflict increase self-esteem? The very moment you are in contact with another person, there is the potential for conflict. However, it isn't conflict that causes stress; it's how conflict is handled. If you do not avoid conflict and instead deal with it, you will not only eliminate many of life's stresses, you will also feel more relaxed and confident.

If you find yourself continually fighting, becoming irritated or perhaps downright hostile when differences between you and others surface, what this means is that you lack the skills to effectively deal with wishes, ideas or needs that are not your own. If you want to enjoy your relationships with others, it is imperative that you learn the art of negotiation.

More from YourTango: 5 Tips For Managing Your Worst Enemy

Conflict causes discomfort. If you are uncomfortable, it is likely that the person you are in conflict with also feels discomfort. Since you are both uncomfortable, make this the starting point of your discussion. Let him or her know you want to eliminate his or her discomfort by resolving the conflict. Agree on a time and place to meet to resolve the conflict.

Be Assertive - Not Aggressive
Come prepared. Make a list of the things you want to say, including what you believe is the cause of the conflict and what you think might be the other person's point of view. Be sure to focus on a particular area of conflict, and stay with the idea of resolving that conflict. Be honest. If there is part of the conflict you can legitimately take responsibility for, do so, and vow to make the necessary changes.

Take ownership of your behaviors and feelings. No one makes you angry. However, you may feel angry. For example, don't say, "You make me angry because you are always late. Instead, say, "When you are late, I feel angry."

More from YourTango: Why It's Important To Read Autobiographies of Successful People

No two people have the same wants, wishes or understanding of events. Once you have clearly explained what you believe to be the conflict, and how it can be resolved, listen and be prepared to make a reasonable compromise. However, there is no reason to be a push over. You want conflict resolution to be collaborative, which means finding resolution that everyone involved can feel good about.

Resolution happens when everyone takes ownership of their part of the conflict and makes the necessary changes. Conflict resolution means less stress, which equates to greater confidence and self-esteem.



Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
couple argue

Emotional Vampires: Must-Know Skills For Dealing With Narcissists

Expert Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book "Emotional Vampires".

Love: 10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

10 Challenges That Will Get You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Don't be afraid to push the envelope — you'll achieve greater happiness!

Hug Text

The "Secret" To Love And Connection: Awareness

This one is for those of you still trying to work out the secret to finding that perfect connection.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>