5 Reasons Why You Have a Dismal Sex Life


5 Reasons Why You Have a Dismal Sex Life

We’re guessing that sex is either on your radar screen or it isn’t in your marriage. It’s something you enjoy having with your spouse or it’s something you do because it’s an obligation.

Our hope is that your sex life becomes a time of romance, passion, and bonding. Sex is a sacred act that brings the two of you closer together as your bodies become one.

We’ve experienced both hot and cold times in our marriage. There have been times when Alisa is sexually aroused and it’s not on my radar screen. At other times I’m all ready and she is only having sex out of obligation.

Does this happens in your marriage too?

You are not alone!

Over the years in we have had the opportunity to help other couples have the sex life they desire. In doing so we look for telltale signs that tip us off why they are having a dismal sex life.

More from YourTango: 19 Bath & Body Essentials For His & Her Needs

Health Issues

This is a big one that many of us overlook. Usually because we feel good one day and gradually over time we don’t have the desire to have sex any more. Your mind may be telling you that you are OK, but really you are not. Don’t languish and hope that you’ll feel better, go get a check up.

We had a client who over the years began to have a lack of desire in her marriage. After seeing her doctor it was determined that she had low testosterone. The low testosterone was causing her to have a low sex drive.

What a revelation it was for her and her husband when they found this out.

Lack of Sleep

Getting a good night sleep is vital to your sex life. Not only is sleep going to help you function through out the day, but you will have more energy for sex. Sleep and sex go hand in hand in more ways than one. When you have sex your body releases oxytocin that helps promote sleep. That’s a good thing for you.

Really it’s a win-win for everyone.

This has to be one of the bigger reasons why our sex life stales out at times. We’re not resting so we lose interest in each other by the time we get to bed. The way we have been able to overcome this is to either have sex in the morning or during the day when we are fully awake.

You Don’t Talk About It

It’s time for the both of you to talk about what you desire in your sex life before you have sex. It’s that simple and it’s that hard. You and your spouse need to take off your masks and be open and honest about what it is that you enjoy about having sex.
Having this conversation when you are not planning on having sex is the best. This is a time for the both of you to understand what your spouse is needing in the relationship. Listen to understand not to reply.

Kid, Kids, and More Kids

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts

Use Goal Setting To Get A Boyfriend

You use goal setting in your professional life, but you can also use it to find true love.


Uncovering the "Scandal" Behind Abusive Relationships

The media is abuzz with the news that “Scandal” star Columbus Short recently ...

Sex: How To Make Your Wife In The Mood For Sex

Are You The Tortoise Or The Hare In The Bedroom?

If he's ready and you're not, consider putting on a sexy fashion show for him.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>