Are You Settling In Your Relationship?
By Dr. Tiffany Perkins-Munn. Posted on .
There are many people who will tell you that settling is exactly what you should do. They may use a word that doesn’t sound quite so negative, like ‘compromising’ or ‘modifying expectations’, but you don’t want to do these either. In 2008, The Atlantic ran an essay by Lori Gottlieb, in which she stated, “every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.”
Her advice to women still holding out for a great guy: Settle for the okay guy. She recommends that we forget about deep, passionate connections (Yikes and Double Yikes!!!) and instead look for companionship (please just put me out of my misery now).
More from YourTango: Is 40 the New 30?
To begin an intimate relationship devoid of passion is—for me—a fate worse than the guillotine! I am not exaggerating. If you stay together for the long term, you will eventually get to the companionship stage of love, but to start a relationship without passion is…well…that which should never be spoken…really.
Well, my question to you is, “Does your heart flutter when you see Mrs. Good Enough? Do you have the urge to pepper the okay guy with long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days?” No? Then, you-my friend-should keep looking. If you stop there, you’ll be yet another settling statistic.
You deserve to be irresistibly desired. So, if you settle, you may create a lifetime of unhappiness for yourself and for someone else. Do you want that kind of guilt hanging over your head? I can answer for you. No.
More from YourTango: What Are Your Relationship Non-Negotiables?
You deserve a big, bad, wonderful love! So, spend some time being thoughtful about your criteria and choose well!
