Couples Counseling Works Even if one of you is more motivated to consult a professional than the other, that's OK; rely on that energy for one of you to make the call for the sake of your relationship. In just a few sessions, I am generally able to help couples understand each other better and begin to employ some solutions that improve their relationship. Please visit my website, www.ThriveTherapyDoc.com.
My approach to couples counseling I have been in the practice of psychotherapy for 35 years. I will devote care and interest to your problems, and utilize all my training and experience to promote your mental health, and the psychological health of your relationship. Whenever possible, I'll help you search for humor.
About John Gerson
I have been in the solo practice of psychotherapy for over 35 years, and in that time have helped hundreds of people to recognize and confront the issues that frustrate them, and to courageously make the changes needed to live more satisfying lives. I am personally guided by compassion, understanding, and the search for the humor that can lighten life. My career began in the hospita- based treatment of alcoholism and drug addiction in the late 1960’s. Coincident with working as a Psychologist for public and private programs I took advanced degrees in Psychology and Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling at Columbia University Teachers College, along with specific training in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy at the Washington Square Institute for Psychotherapy and Mental Health. I was awarded the Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology much later in my life, in 1996, from The Union Institute Graduate School. I have many published articles on various mental health issues to my credit, and have participated in numerous Continuing Education programs. I am part of the professional community of the Westchester Center for the Study of Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy.
John Gerson Success Stories
A Surprising Fix
Kathleen and Bob, a couple in their mid 30's with children, had been seeing me for only 3 sessions when a homework assignment I gave them dramatically improved the energy between them and led to their facing each other excitedly in the 3rd session, each eagerly seeking the other.more
The back story behind this 10 year marriage is the following: Bob and Kathleen had a good and strong relationship for the first 3 years while they were both working and living in the city. Kathleen's pregnancy and the birth of their 2 children introduced expectable stressors for them, and physically their need for more space than their New York City apartment could provide led to efforts to sell it and buy a house in Westchester. As the housing market has not rebounded, they have not been able to sell the apartment. Bob's need for more income resulted in his traveling more, and the couple began to drift apart emotionally and physically. Bob carries a certain amount of anxiety from family-of-origin issues, and remoteness, a very useful protection for him, became re-activated by these stressors, and by Kathleen's need for him. She became increasing deprived and frustrated. Ultimately both of them co-created a brother-sister form of relating, friendly and cooperative as parents, but passionless. When they came to see me, they hadn't had sex for 3 years.
About 6 months ago, Kathleen discovered Bob's stash of pornography. Her fury, she insisted, was not a reaction to the material, and that she's was not a prude. She saw him instead being unfaithful to her; not coming to her for release and fulfillment, but being rather with himself.
The homework assignment I gave them was the following: I asked them to make time for each other at night when the children were in bed and they would'nt be disturbed, and to create a ritual space with lit candles, music, etc, and for them to engage in non-erotic massage, Bob being the masseur one night and Kathleen the next, and that although they might become aroused, I instructed them to do nothing about that; they were to talk to each other during the massage about whatever was coming up for them, with an eye always on discovering and dissolving what was between them.
At the beginning of the 3rd session Kathleen announced that they had done my assignment, and that it had been tremendously helpful. They conducted their massage with their clothes on, a stipulation of Kathleen's at this point, given her hesitancy and distrust.
Of course there is more work to be done, but this has been a remarkable transformation. I was especially impressed with the novelty and value of this non-erotic massage taking place with clothes on.