Low Libido? Boost It With This Fun Trick

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What Women Want: Better Libido With This Trick
If you're feeling lackluster about sex, you're not alone. Rev your engine with this advice.

We all know that having sufficient sex hormones is essential for having sexual desire. But one thing you probably aren't aware of is that having sex actually increases those hormones. Crazy, but true.

The latest research on female sexuality shows that most women don't "start out" having sexual desire; ample work must be done to help them feel aroused. Unlike men, few of us are walking around feeling instantly ready to hop into the sack. We need foreplay to build our arousal, and our desire to have sex stems from this place. Once a woman starts feeling the pleasure of the arousal, that's when the desire kicks in. 

 

Once you're having sex, all the holding and touching you do stimulates an important chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin is stimulated through touch, and it bonds you emotionally to the person you are touching. It's like relationship super glue. The more you touch, the more love you feel — which is why lovers usually feel a lot closer to each other after they have been intimate. 

If you want to have sexual desire, you have to be in the habit of having sex. We're all so busy and for many couples, the key to making time to be together sexually comes down to getting it on the calendar. This somewhat un-romantic notion is critical for keeping the momentum going; the more you schedule time to be together the more often you'll actually have sex. It's no surprise that married couples have more sex than singles for one reason: opportunity! 

You have to make sex delicious for you. It isn't about just having more sex, it's about having more good sex. If you're only having sex to stop your partner from nagging you, that's the wrong reason. The right reason to be intimate is because sex is pleasurable to you. It is human nature to want to repeat pleasurable experiences. Women with low sexual desire often have sex for their partner's sake, not for themselves. That's got to change. You won't ever truly desire sex if it isn't pleasurable to you. My advice is to alter your approach. Make sure when you have sex that you are doing what feels good. Teach your partner what feels good to you, and remember, if you love it, you'll want it again and again. 

Shifting from a feeling of low sexual desire to a more regular sexual desire isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time, effort and practice.  The good news is that it's fun, and the more you have sex, the more you'll ultimately want sex. That's the place you want to be in — and your partner wants you to be in. When sex is less of a chore and more of a treat, then you'll know things are moving in the right direction.
If you're struggling with low sexual desire, you're not alone. I can certainly help. To reach me for a free consultation, please email me directly at colettemalan_lcsw@hotmail.com or visit my website www.relationshiphelp.org to connect with me personally.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Therapist Colette Malan

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Author of upcoming book & program "I'm Not Turned On- Secrets for Increasing Sexual Desire in Women"

AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction

Low Sexual Desire

Tantra Instructor

Couple Communication Instructor

Couple Retreat Facilitator

Location: Ogden, UT
Credentials: CST, LCSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Therapist Colette Malan:

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