I Was Married To A Bipolar Sociopath

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I Was Married To A Bipolar Sociopath
Breaking Free From a Family History of Domestic Abuse

The plan seemed easy enough.  All I had to do was live with Jason two more days, acting like everything was ok until they could serve him with the Protection Order and remove him from our home.  However, my honest nature had me confessing that evening that I wanted a divorce and I hoped that we could ‘work everything out’ amicably.  That’s when Jason, after crying and pleading with me to stay, decided to threaten me and my daughter’s life.  He said, ‘If you close your eyes, I will kill you and Katy.  If I can’t have the two of you, no one will.  If you leave me, I will find you and kill you both.”

He pulled up the alley in my black 1989 Ford Probe GT that I purchased while attending college.  Shielding my head with my brief case from the rain, I hurried to get in the car.  My first priority was to pick up Katy from day care.  After retrieving Katy and returning home, I calmly prepared and served dinner, then began doing the laundry.  While Jason sat watching TV, I washed Katy’s and my clothing and put them in plastic hampers, covering up the guns and all of the various weapons that I had gathered from our home.  I needed to make sure to disarm him.  I put the hampers in the car, picked up Katy and her diaper bag and told Jason I needed to go to my dad’s house to dry the clothes, as our dryer was broken.  He asked me to leave the baby, but I told him that dad and my step-mom wanted to see her.  By 10 pm that evening, Jason began calling my dad’s house requesting that I return home.  By midnight and after receiving various threats from him, I told him the truth.  I informed him that I was leaving and there was a Protection Order in place.  I told him to pack his things and that the Sheriff would be there in the morning to serve him and ask him to leave.  My dad would pick him up and take him to the airport and he would be able to fly home to see his parents and take some time to think about things.  Of course, he didn’t like this idea and he and his parents continued to call into the early morning hours.  The next day, our plan went into action.  My dad met Jason and accompanied him to the airport after he was served by the Sheriff and Katy and I went into hiding for the three-day weekend at two separate locations.  By Monday, I returned home to an empty condo, ready to begin a new life on my own.

It took approximately one year for the divorce to be final, during which time all hell broke loose.  Jason returned to Atlanta from his parents’ house in Pennsylvania and continued to stalk me, breaking into my apartment, stripping my car, and hurting me however and whenever he could.  To make matters worse, the court awarded visitation to him.   We continued to try to make the best of the situation for the next nine years, following the rules and trying to help Katy relate to her biological father, who thought of her as his property rather than his cherished progeny.  However, finally, he lost parental rights when Katy turned eleven and the court finally witnessed his verbal and physical abuse firsthand.   My second husband, Kris, Katy’s daddy since she was three and half, adopted her.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
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** The Sexy Wife Coach ** Lora L. Andersen

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Lora Lucinda Andersen
The Sexy Wife Coach
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